10 of the Funniest Reader Comments

The humor here is top-notch. Nonetheless, Jenny’s account has me chortling with delight. This is hilarious!

My family isn’t made up of loud sneezers, but nose blowing, well now; I lived in the apt above my brother and knew every morning when he was awake cause he would blow his nose. My roomie would yell “John’s up!” from her room. Cut to a family gathering and my cousin blew his nose and I whipped my head around so fast. His sister was next to me and she said “I know he’s so loud”. I said “you should hear John”, she laughed and said “you should hear my Dad”! Since my Dad (he passed when I was 7) was her Dad’s brother,
we’re assuming he was a loud nose blower too! We laughed so hard!

I am so glad that I have good company on this one…in my past life as a wardrobe mistress on the road with rock/pop singers, I was often also the personal assistant, staying in the hotels, packing, unpacking, waking them up, ordering room service, etc. I often got up early to have my own breakfast and shower, to be ready before I was needed. I’d frequently be in my towel enjoying a peaceful morning meal before a long busy day and night…while in my towels, (2, one on head one on body), I had trouble pushing the tray table out of my small room (usually the “maids” room, connected to a suite) and had to step across the threshold of said door to get that heavy rolling table out the door and into the hallway…the door slammed itself shut behind me. Behind me and my barely towel wrapped behind. I had to take the elevator DOWN TO THE LOBBY, and find the nearest person to assist me back into my room (in time to wake client. and put clothes on). Dear reader, this happened to me not once but TWICE (okay, over a long career of decades). Once in Seattle, once in Dallas. Luckily in Dallas, the concierge desk was right next to the elevators. Seattle…not so lucky. All the way across the elaborate lobby of the 4 Seasons. This was before hotels started having the now popular huge oversized fluffy towels. It was…not a pretty way to start the day. :[

I was dog sitting several years ago and had to take the pup out in the middle of the night. The owners were very clear not to let the stray cat in who liked to hang out on the porch. So at 1AM, in skimpy pjs, I let the dog out and quickly shut the door so the cat wouldnt come in. Only to realize that the door locked behind me. So with very little on and NO GLASSES, I had to creep around the house to the front where they said they hid a spare key. Except I couldn’t find it for awhile because I’m basically blind without my glasses and it was dark. Eventually, the dog came around and sat at my feet as if you to say, “you idiot.”

No lie, a week later my now-husband was dog sitting at his aunt and uncle’s and LOCKED HIMSELF OUT and had to kick down their door to get back in.

Needless to say, we’re now very cautious when we agree to pet sit.

travelling in mexico, i went out on the front deck of my hotel room at about 5am and the door closed behind me and locked. sleeping in a hot room i wasn’t wearing any clothes so i was locked out. i had to walk downstairs to the hotl desk with a newspaper from the trash can to cover up, and explain my problem. i knew little spanish, but i remembered a scene from Seinfeld when george left the door open, so i said “Señor, por favor la puerto no es abierto”. he laughed got the key and had a good story to tell his friends!

I have so many embarrassing stories.
…meeting everyone at a new job with a giant poppyseed stuck between my two front teeth.
…showing up to a surprise party a week early.
…accidentally driving to Mexico because I wasn’t paying attention on the freeway.
…accidentally calling a bride the name of the groom’s ex.
…ripping my skirt up the back after I slipped on ice but not realizing it until the end of the workday.
…doing a favor for my sister’s friend by pulling in their driveway, opening the garage door, letting myself in the house and looking for the bedroom on the right. Wrong house.

Honestly, I can’t even remember them all. I am normally pretty poised and in control but…

This was a perfect post lunch read to get me through the rest of the afternoon! Ps. laughing with a mask on is a bit weird hahaha

So so funny, you girls are just terrific! I really needed this, thank you!

My 4 year old son has a soft toy which is Idefix, the little dog from the French comic book series Astérix and obelix. He had forgotten its name so the other day I heard him say to the toy: “come here Netflix” and I was dying with laughter thinking wow, if that’s not the 2022 version of Astérix and obelix! But also it works!

OMG, I was reading that Jenny story and was like, THAT EXACT THING HAPPENED TO ME! And then I remember that I put a fake name because it was so humiliating. (FWIW, I was visiting family in my small hometown and it was one of the few times I’d driven in about a decade, so I was not accustomed to someone asking me that question.)

Once I found myself in a very similar situation as Abigail. I was dog-sitting and one morning, right after I stepped out of the shower, I let the dogs out into the backyard and walked outside with them for a just a second. The minute the door closed, I remembered that the doors locked automatically from the inside. PURE TERROR. I was locked out of a stranger’s house in a neighborhood I didn’t know without my phone *in nothing but a towel.* After unsuccessfully trying to break the window and looking under every single pot for a spare key, I started walking from house to house in my towel and wet unbrushed hair. Eventually someone was home and I was able to call a locksmith. Now I make sure I have a spare key hidden outside when I dog sit…

Oops, *pants

One of my recent funny/embarrassing moments was during the pandemic. I’m a teacher and while virtual last year, we wanted kids to have the chance to do book clubs (something we would have regularly done if we had been in person). I had an allotment of money to spend and ordered individual books for students, sent to their houses. Anyone who uses Amazon might realize it defaults to your last-used address. Later in the week, I ordered a pair of pants (good ole elastic-waisted ones as a result of Covid weight) and couldn’t figure out where they were, despite being marked “delivered.” Apparently, I had inadvertently sent a pair of pants to one of my 4th grade students, causing quite the confusion in his family. They had spent days brainstorming who and why would have sent pant—personally addressed to him—to their house. Thankfully, the mom thought the whole thing was hilarious and realized they must have been meant for me around the same time it hit me (in an utter panic) what I had done. She also informed me that her son had been planning to hold them up on Zoom the next day to ask if they were mine. Thankfully, she stopped that before he could do it. It’s one of my mortifying and hilarious teaching moments.

*on sneezy husbands*

My husband sneezes 15+ times each time he sneezes and it drives me insane. But I knew this when I married him, nearly 9 yrs and two kids ago.

Phew.

This sneeze meme is my favorite.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CWo6xpcBlh3/?utm_medium=copy_link

Last night I was googling “disney princesses as moms” (as one does) and was showing the pictures to my 6year-old daughter upon request, all cute and funny, when up pops one of Cinderella giving birth (thanks, bored panda). “Why is she… like that?” Zoey asked. I explained that sometimes babies don’t come straight from the mom’s tummy (how I’ve described my c-section) but from her vagina. Zoey took this in, then considered how this might be for her one day as she will have twins. We continued talking and she seemed to have moved on, when suddenly she quietly asked: “What’s a vagina again?”

One winter, when my daughter was 3 – I picked her up from daycare & it was dark outside. She looked up at the sky and said, “ Mom- look! It’s a banana moon!” It was a crescent moon. She’s now six and we still call them banana moons when we see them in the sky!

Oh man hugging the waiter. I am pressing myself into my mattress in an effort to escape that situation just reading it!

I love Abigail’s story about being locked out while dog-sitting! Reminds me of a time when I was having my Saturday morning tea on the porch with my pup. A neighbor, out for a walk with his toddler, stopped to chat and asked if his daughter could pet my dog. My pup – very excitable then and now – was starting to jump so I picked him up while the neighbor and I chatted. My dogs back legs were wiggling nonstop out of excitement, and somehow his back paws found his way into the waistband of my pj bottoms. At some point, without me really realizing what was going on, my pj bottoms slipped down to my knees to the EXTREME HORROR of my neighbor and myself as I had nothing on underneath. Neither of us have moved in the decade or so since, and we still avoid eye contact when passing each other on the street.

Never not a loud sneezer here.
My two kids can pinch their nose, close their mouth and eyes, and let out a teeny tiny kitten sneeze—even now as young adults.

One time I decided mid nose tickle that I’d try their way. I closed my eyes, pinched my nose, closed my mouth shut, and out of my mouth came the sound of a strangled elephant, and the sheer internal pressure made me fart at the same time. Never again. Loud sneezer for life.

Haha! Thank you!! These were great just what I needed, a good laugh out loud

These are all so funny! I can’t get over Jenny’s story though, cackling out loud!! So, so funny!

I love sneezing loud on purpose at home. Not something I do in public, but when I’m home I really let a sneeze RIP. It’s a great feeling physically and, in my opinion, very feminist. MY SNEEZE WILL TAKE UP SPACE! My husband is always amazed by my power.

Oh my god.

“Do you have gas?”

The best.

Oh my gosh, this post and these comments are pure gold. My most humiliating event thus far (I’m sure there’s many more in my future) happened when my husband I started socializing with the parent’s of our daughter’s then-boyfriend. They were so fun to hang out with! We went to wine tastings, parties and dinners together and even spent a weekend at a resort with both families. After 6 months of friendship, the boyfriend’s dad pulled me aside at a party and asked if we could speak privately. I couldn’t imagine what he wanted to discuss but I said “sure”. When we were alone, he said “I thought maybe you would put the pieces together by now but since you haven’t, I’m wondering if you remember that we dated in high school?” I was stunned because I had zero memory of dating him so I said “how long did we date?” and he replied “We dated for about 3 months and we went to homecoming together”. I took a good long look at him and blurted out “OMG, I do remember you! You had hair then!”. About that time, my husband walked into the backyard and asked what we were discussing. When I shared the details with him, he laughed harder than I’ve ever heard him laugh in the 20 years we’ve been together. To this day, he never lets me forget about it.