Four Fun Things

Oh my gosh, have you seen the new movie White Tiger? I watched it on Sunday and cannot stop thinking about the story of a young man in India who becomes a driver for a very rich family and tries to climb out of poverty. The star, Adarsh Gourav, is a master at conveying subtle emotions — yearning, shame, gratitude, rage — with the smallest arch of an eyebrow or tilt of his head. Here’s the trailer, but I’d actually recommend skipping it and going straight into the movie without knowing the compelling twists.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about drinking lately, as I’ve been having my fair share of white wine during this here global pandemic. My First Year Sober is a stream-of-consciousness graphic article by Edith Zimmerman about when she stopped drinking.

This Sunday is my twin sister and my birthday (42, baby!), and the boys keep asking what kind of cake I’d like. My favorite for years has been flourless chocolate, along with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. What’s yours?

Our beloved food columnist Jenny Rosenstrach served up a brilliant cooking tip on her new newsletter (totally worth subscribing). “A Public Service Announcement for cooks like me, who for decades have ignored the advice to season dry lettuce with salt and pepper before tossing it with vinaigrette: Season your dry lettuce! I know, you’re all ‘There’s already salt and pepper in the dressing!’ (that’s what I said) but trust me: It’s one of those super tiny things that makes such a big difference. Like each bite is almost sparkly.”

P.S. More fun things, and “why I decided to stop drinking — and how it changed my life.”

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Carlie B

February 3, 2021 2:45pm 2:45 pm

This this flourless chocolate cake from King Arthur Flour (I know, i know it doesn’t make sense) … it is incredible!!

https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/flourless-chocolate-cake-recipe

Nanaka

January 31, 2021 4:20am 4:20 am

I also watched White Tiger yesterday evening, and it was really surprising. I made the “mistake” to watch the trailer (before I read this article, ha), and thought I knew any surprise turn this would take. Nope :o) It was a good movie and left me with a whole deal to think about…

That being said: Happy Birthday!!! =D

My favorite cake will always and forever be a Tarte aux Citrons topped with meringue. I made one for Christmas, then had so many lemons left that I made 2 more entering January. Best way to start the year!

Allison

January 30, 2021 2:48pm 2:48 pm

My forever birthday cake is a spice cake with lemon icing. I love chocolate cakes but somehow when my birthday rolls around this is always the one I want. I turned 40 last February and forever will I tease younger friends as they approach 40 that they have no idea how crazy things get after you turn 40!

Reply to Allison

February 1, 2021 7:49am 7:49 am

Hi Allison! If you see this, would you possibly be open to sharing your spice cake/lemon icing recipe? That sounds like my dream birthday cake!! Thank you so much

Allison

Reply to Allison

February 1, 2021 7:26pm 7:26 pm

Spice Cake
Makes two round 9″ layer cakes or about 16 cupcakes.

In a large bowl, mix all at once:
2 c flour
1 c sugar
1/2 c soft butter
1/2 tsp each: cloves, nutmeg (grate fresh!) and salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 each: tsp allspice, baking soda
1/4 c molasses (fancy-grade)
1/2 c milk

Grating the nutmeg fresh makes a big difference and it only takes half a minute on a microplane. (Seriously, I thought this step was going to be fiddly and annoying, but it grates up so fluffy that you don’t need to do much to get your 1/2 tsp!) If you’re using electric beaters, beat for just 2 minutes until it comes together. If you overmix, the cake will turn out dry.

Stir in:
2 tsp baking powder

Beat in:
2 eggs
1/3 c milk

Beat batter for another 2 minutes or less, until just combined, then pour into your pans. Grease and flour the cake tins.

Bake at 375°F (190°C) for 25-30 minutes.

For the icing, I blend about 1/4 cup butter with 1 1/2 – 2 cups icing sugar, the juice of half a lemon and the zest of 2 lemons.

Reply to Allison

February 2, 2021 7:01am 7:01 am

Allison, thank you!!! I am so excited to try this. It sounds brilliant. I really appreciate your reply. Happy birthday this month, and all the best :-)

January 29, 2021 10:56pm 10:56 pm

Happy birthday Joanna (and Lucy)! Thanks for letting us be a part of your life and for creating this community xo

Caitlin

January 29, 2021 8:46pm 8:46 pm

Happy Birthday, Jo!!! ???

I haven’t drank in years (first it was to help get rid of Lyme disease) and now I just don’t want to. Not many people understand! But I have a pretty great life and alcohol doesn’t serve me at all. I totally recommend the book The Sober Lush: A Hedonist’s Guide to Living a Decadent, Adventurous, Soulful Life–Alcohol Free

Nicole

January 29, 2021 8:04pm 8:04 pm

Joanna, we’re birthday buddies! Happy birthday to us on Sunday :) I was also feeling stumped about what I wanted for my birthday cake. I’ve been craving classic sweets lately, like chocolate chip cookies, but I also wanted to feel adventurous for my birthday dessert. So my husband and I are going to try making a COOKIE DOUGH CAKE!! So excited! More importantly, I have an appointment to get my Covid vaccine on Sunday, so that’s the real birthday treat :)

Joanna Goddard(@joanna)

Author

Reply to Nicole

January 29, 2021 9:00pm 9:00 pm

Yum!!! And huge congrats on the vaccine!

January 29, 2021 6:54pm 6:54 pm

I have been questioning my drinking for a few years with dry periods off and on. My husband and I are taking 6 months off and we’re feeling great. I might not go back!

One thing I read that punched me in the gut was “Stop saying drugs and alcohol. Alcohol is a drug. Just say drugs.” Phew!

Maywyn

January 29, 2021 4:34pm 4:34 pm

Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Lindsay

January 29, 2021 2:28pm 2:28 pm

Joanna, thank you for your openness about evaluating your relationship with alcohol. My hunch is if you’re questioning it, it is worth exploring! I stopped drinking 2 years ago (for the most part – I don’t identify as “sober” and have had a few sips of a drink on maybe 3 occasions). So much about my life has improved. There are tons of great resources out there (and in the comments on this post!). I recommend the EDIT podcast (they don’t put out new episodes, but the archives are great) – the hosts identify as “gray area drinkers” and explore what that means. The IG account @re_filled also has beautiful content (she is one of the cohosts of the EDIT podcast). I just happened to listen to another great podcast episode (Raise Your Hand, Say Yes, Episode 351 about the host’s sobriety journey). xoxo

Stephanie

January 29, 2021 2:10pm 2:10 pm

The book The White Tiger is very good. I look forward to watching the movie. I spent some time working in India about 20 years ago. I found the book to feel very true to life there.

George

Reply to Stephanie

January 29, 2021 2:46pm 2:46 pm

Yes, I would also highly recommend the book too. I can remember exactly where I was when reading it (Brazil in Feb 2013) which is always a sign of a memorable read!

Jennifer O.

January 29, 2021 12:56pm 12:56 pm

My birthday was a couple weeks ago. I don’t usually have birthday cake unless I make it myself (or I get a special dessert at a birthday dinner with friends pre-Covid). This year I’m with my parents for a few months and my grandmother insisted on ordering me a cake and so I had to choose. Caramel cake all the way!

KIM

January 29, 2021 12:24pm 12:24 pm

I must be the 100th person to comment this? But every time you post a picture of you and your sister Lucy as children I am AMAZED at how identical you look to Toby and Anton! Toby is exactly you and Anton is exactly Lucy!!! It blows my mind again and again. Genetics are crazy. Are you sure you even needed Alex to make those little dumplings? Just kidding, I see a little bit of Alex in both of them, but I think a lot of that is hearing your stories of the 3 of them.

Joanna Goddard(@joanna)

Author

Reply to KIM

January 29, 2021 12:26pm 12:26 pm

“Are you sure you even needed Alex to make those little dumplings?” hahaha xo

jane

January 29, 2021 12:02pm 12:02 pm

I watched White Tiger last night. I do love that he went the altruistic and empowering route in the end but ultimately it wasn’t for me. I greatly preferred Slumdog Millionaire as a rags to riches tale. I felt it embraced all the same concepts while being far more uplifting and just a better crafted film.

Lisa

Reply to jane

January 30, 2021 12:51pm 12:51 pm

I loved the movie, precisely because of its more brutal take and lower gloss. It really reminded me of traveling through India in the 1980s, the lack of structure, all of it. And it broke my heart in a good way. But, that said, my guess is that many people will feel as you did Jane, and it’s wonderful that we can see both kinds of movies and learn from them.

jdp

January 29, 2021 11:58am 11:58 am

happy birthday joanna and lucy!

jane

January 29, 2021 11:51am 11:51 am

I’ve never been able to handle cocktails but I’ve cut out the automatic 5pm glass of wine or craft beer in favor of only when I really feel like one which is surprisingly not that often. Maybe once a month. It does feel better and fortunately is effortless.

Rustt

January 29, 2021 10:52am 10:52 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNA & LUCY!!!
? xx
Joanna, thank you for your openness and commitment in creating this wonderful snd safe space for us.
It is helping me through THE most challenging time in my life!
Mmmwaaah! ❤

Kari T.

January 29, 2021 10:34am 10:34 am

Hi Juliet, I’m a little scared too, I think it’s ok to pass on the movie :). I need all the comedies these days.

Mrs. P

January 29, 2021 10:23am 10:23 am

This is such a great idea! I’m definitely going to try this, thank you!

Agnès

January 29, 2021 9:53am 9:53 am

So; we watched The white tiger yesterday night, after your recommendation ;-) As mexicans, we saw soo many common things with Mexico, and that’s quite fascinating; very hard to explain though. I like that it’s a bit surreal, a bit Tarantinesque even; like it is very hard to relate to the characters because they are true characters, like clichés, but it works very well, it is funny and deep and weird. i really loved it thank you for the recommendation! I feel like I owe you one, but it’s a book; after months of being unable to read fiction I’m reading Circe, by Madeline Miller and absolutely loving it. happy week-end every one, birthdays, cakes, movies, books!

Joanna Goddard(@joanna)

Author

Reply to Agnès

January 29, 2021 10:14am 10:14 am

Thank you so much!!

Reply to Agnès

January 29, 2021 10:20pm 10:20 pm

I just watched The White Tiger too and I think you describe what I feel! It made me feel twisty and uncomfortable, and I liked that! I basically didn’t predict a single thing… The characters are almost relatable but then take a much darker left turn and I really appreciate that challenge. It does feel more like Spanish magical realism films, and vaguely reminds me of Korean films as well…

Emilie

January 29, 2021 8:45am 8:45 am

Happy birthday, Joanna and Lucy!! I love that photo of you two <3

Fellow dry January participant here! I have never done it before, but after 9+ months of pandemic drinking (3-4 nights a week, and often a whole bottle of wine on a weekend) and even more over the holidays, my boyfriend and I both decided to do it. Definitely no weight loss for me (he says he has lost weight, but I think he is being generous, ha) but I think I am maybe sleeping a bit better? I certainly feel more clear headed some mornings.

I wanted to comment on what a few quitters have said about "it is not as boring as you think!" This is my biggest reservation about embarking on a more permanent scaling back of drinking. I don't mean that getting drunk is exciting (far from it, especially the hangover part) but I have realized this month how much I love some of the cultural aspects of alcohol consumption: trying out new breweries (our city is a craft beer bonanza), a beer on the gondola down from the ski hill (when I'm not driving home), researching what kind of wine will best compliment the recipe I have decided to try out, popping champagne for my girlfriend who just chose a wedding dress… etc, etc.

Throughout 2020, working from home, I really enjoyed leaving my desk behind for the day and having a glass of wine. Obviously these are not good reasons for drinking if you feel like the cons far outweigh these small rituals, but they are little excitements in my life that break up monotony. This month was totally fine and frankly easier than I thought it would be, but definitely more boring. I can't see myself replacing these little rituals with seltzer water or sparkling apple juice, but am heartened by readers who say quitting completely is its own kind of exciting and not boring at all! Cheers (no pun intended) to all of you :)

carrie

January 29, 2021 8:10am 8:10 am

Don’t mess with a good tradition and stick with your chocolate cake! In case you want another on the side, or want to celebrate the day after too, I made the recipetineats whole orange cake for my husband’s birthday last month and it was amazing! Such bright citrus flavor!

January 29, 2021 7:34am 7:34 am

I am pregnant and have been abstaining from alcohol during my pregnancy, and I had been mostly alcohol-free in the months before when I was trying to conceive. (I’d have a beer when I got my period – ha!) It hasn’t felt that difficult while I have this very clear-cut reason to abstain, but I’ve been thinking about what my approach will be once I’m no longer pregnant.

I think the big turning point for me actually came before pregnancy, when I met my husband. I had been in a terrible relationship before him with a man who drank in very problematic ways… Not to blame him, but it really influenced my drinking habits, and also the stress of our relationship imploding also had me drinking even when my ex wasn’t around.

My husband isn’t a teetotaler, but he’s totally indifferent to alcohol, and when we met I found myself telling friends how unusual it was to be on butterfly-inducing early dates without a drop of booze in sight! With him I rarely drink at home, unless we are having a dinner party (in the pre covid times), or if we are out to dinner. We also don’t keep much alcohol in the house, which makes it easier – sort of a line in the sand that it’s a special treat when out.

This is not to say that our behavior around booze is totally controlled by others, but I absolutely have been influenced by the company I keep. I think I’ll go back to enjoying a beer on the weekends when the baby comes, but I feel really lucky that the heavy weeknight drinking I used to use as a coping mechanism is a thing of my past.

Reply to M

January 29, 2021 7:37am 7:37 am

PS – so intrigued by the salad salting tip! Will try tonight!

Kay

January 29, 2021 3:20am 3:20 am

Happy birthday, I hope your day is lovely and full of cake. It is my birthday tomorrow and this year, instead of being disappointed yet again, I told my husband that I wanted a cake. I love to bake and have huge baking sessions each week because it makes me happy, I make cakes for all the family and others, but I never get a cake myself. My husband said that he didn’t know I wanted cake when I told him that I really wanted one. In my mind a birthday cake is absolutely just part of the day and is a necessity, I love eating and making cakes, and am amazed that he never even considered a cake for me. It will be a shop bought one but at least it will be cake.

Jenny/AdventuresAlongTheWay

Reply to Kay

January 29, 2021 5:51pm 5:51 pm

Happy birthday, Kay, and Joanna also, this weekend!

Kay, I wish you delicious cake this weekend. I’m glad you asked for what you wanted to have to celebrate. I too am the cake maker in our household and usually just make my own for my birthday.

Anon

January 28, 2021 11:52pm 11:52 pm

Joanna – if you’re starting to look at your own drinking and thinking about taking a break for a bit, I highly recommend the (free) Annie Grace 30 Day Experiment: https://thisnakedmind.com/blog-the-alcohol-experiment/

Joanna Goddard(@joanna)

Author

Reply to Anon

January 29, 2021 5:56pm 5:56 pm

thank you so much!

Jenny/AdventuresAlongTheWay

January 28, 2021 11:49pm 11:49 pm

We cut alcohol last August because we think it is one of the migraine triggers for my boyfriend. We also cut added sugar, and he cut caffeine. (I still have my one latte a day.) Anyhow, we didn’t drink much before then, but we did have to find a new way to make our drink feel celebratory for special occasions. Finally I started putting our water in these fancy silver rimmed and silver polka dotted glasses I inherited from my grandparents never used before. If I do that and use my silver chargers and napkin rings, it makes the meal feel special!

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