11 Wedding Dos and Don’ts

After taking a short walk alone together for some quiet sunset photos, we took one big group shot of “the brides bunch” and 1 big group shot of “the grooms bunch”, and got straight into the party. And we loved not doing obligatory individuals with all the different friends n family posing. Have never regretted it! Also, we did tables in similar fashion, reserved 1 for my family, one for his, and everyone else worked out their seats themselves. A seating chart was just a bridge too far for me, (i did my own flowers, lights and decorating), and not a single person was unhappy about it. Phew!

I love these. We had only15 guests. I always tell friends who are wedding planning to do the same.

I’m getting married in two weeks time, and something I have surprisingly found very calming is watching the royal wedding footage from the last three royal weddings (Catherine & William, Meghan & Harry, and just recently, Eugenie & Jack). The Royal Family posts the full, non-curated videos on youtube, and it lets you see the beautiful human elements of each wedding – the nerves, the awkward pauses, the unwieldy gown, the wind blowing strands of hair out of place! There isn’t any sappy love song playing over the video, there aren’t any slow motion shots panning over a posed moment. Sometimes the images we see on social media of weddings are so curated and seem so calm because they are still image, and it makes me feel like every other bride is just NATURALLY that calm and perfect and poised. This raw video footage reminds me that even these royal women (who are used to being in the spotlight) are human, too, and that a wedding WILL be a little nerve wracking and awkward at moments, but overall very joyful and gorgeous and picture perfect as well.

Please do a full feature on Ashley’s wedding. I need all the details!

Loving Ashley’s sparkles!!!

Love that so many of these couples are both women. This makes me very happy :-)

Hi Jess – it’s not a maternity dress but I found this at Bloomingdales! Tons of great options there that won’t cost you an arm + leg. Great for those pregnant or just curvy, like me!

I know I’m a bit off topic, but is there any way of finding out where Courtney and Phoebe found that beautiful plunging maternity wedding dress?
I’ve ended up planning my wedding pregnant, and have cried every time I think of myself huge pregnant and bloated on my wedding day taking tacky pictures of the groom kissing my belly. All the maternity dresses I’ve found look so terrible and sad or really dated.
Or maybe somebody else knows of somewhere to find pregnancy compatible wedding dresses that still feel sexy and fresh?

My advice, if you have your ceremony and reception somewhere else, is to make sure you have a plan for your purse, your phone, etc as you transition between the two places. We didn’t have a wedding planner and neither one of us thought about it!

We were married in my childhood church and immediately whisked away to a bright yellow vintage convertible to drive to our reception site. However, this vintage car (a loaner from a friend) hadn’t been driven in years, and the gas tank was empty. As we’re driving to our ceremony, neither of us had a wallet, a phone or anything else that we would need if something happened, like if we ran out of gas. We laughed, said a couple prayers and somehow made it to our reception. When we got there, the friend who owned the car laughed and told me the gas gauge was broken and he had filled it up with gas for us.

But that’s always my advice for others – think about the transition parts of the day and if you need to bring anything important with you, and make plans ahead of time for who will have that stuff and who will make sure it gets where it needs to go!

I don’t love being the center of attention and also had a lot of heartburn re: the cost of a wedding. I considered eloping but I distinctly remember looking around at all of my friends and family together on my wedding day and thinking that it was probably the only time all the people I care about most in the world would ever come together, except maybe at my funeral. Having said that, if you need to reign in your guest list my advice is to start by thinking about who you’ll invite to your rehearsal dinner. Those are probably your nearest and dearest and maybe you should just stop there.

I love these. I wore Jo Malone’s “BlackBerry & Bay” on our wedding day and through the honeymoon. Now, I wear it for special occasions. Any time my husband smells it, it reminds him of Jamaica (where we honeymooned).

I’ll also add… Don’t book your flight for 6am the next morning! We danced with our guests until 11:30 pm, then had to travel 2 hours to get to the airport. It didn’t make sense to get a hotel for two hours (and we were worried if we went to sleep, we wouldn’t wake up!), so we spent our wedding night in the cold airport waiting on the employees to show up so we could check in. I also remember being freezing! It was December and snowing, but I was dressed and ready for Jamaica!

I didn’t see any “dont’s” on the list. Generally, the only thing I’ve seen derail a wedding (and therefore should be a solid don’t) is “don’t spring a prenup on your bride the day before the wedding, just before the welcome dinner.” What didn’t make sense was why they waited until so close to the wedding? Apparently, they had discussed it, but nothing formal was done. From my law practice, I knew that the prenup would likely not be valid if signed so close to the wedding – a Court could consider the timing a form of duress because of all wedding costs are essentially sunk costs at that point, and there would be a stigma or embarrassment to stop the wedding. It’s possible a court might not uphold it. Best practice is to have the prenup signed before the invitations go out.

Thanks for including diverse couples. ???

I love these. We did a couple of these at our wedding. I’m English and love Jo Malone perfumes and chose their classic Red Roses. My mum knew I had bought the perfume to use and as a gift the night before the wedding presented me with the bath oil, shower gel and lotion which really accentuated the scent. All day people were commenting on how lovely I smelt. I always ensure I have a bottle now and often if I wear it and see someone who was at my wedding they will remember it.

We didn’t do pizza but as we are from a traditional English seaside town instead of a buffet in the evening we had fish and chips which were served in newspaper with wooden forks. Everyone loved it.

I think people put so much pressure on their wedding day to be perfect but it’s true what people say it is just one day and years from now (hopefully) it will be one small part of your many memories together.

My best advice came from my mom: A wedding is a beginning, not an end (despite what so many rom coms would have us believe).

Also, a band is great! We wanted a party, and that’s just what we got. We actually had to kick people out at the end because everyone wanted to keep dancing. When my husband and I went to thank the band after, they ended up thanking us! They said they hadn’t had so much fun at a wedding in a long time.

We did a group shot right after the ceremony because our wedding was in an amphitheater so you could more or less see everyone. It was so fun. Right after we kissed, my husband turned around and yelled to everyone “we’re taking a picture and you’re in it!” It’s hanging in our hallway and makes me so happy every day. My mom also hired a local burger truck to come by at about 10pm after a 3 pm wedding with dinner at 6 and many many people tell me that was their favorite part.

We rented a bouncy castle for outside the venue during our fall wedding. The kids had a blast, and my favorite wedding photo is of me and my husband having a post-ceremony bounce :)

We had a 6 week engagement, and so naturally there were a lot of details that I sort of forgot about! At our wedding rehearsal I realized that we needed a person to tell each person when to go down the aisle! We didn’t have a wedding planner but this was really the one thing we needed some help on! I turned to my bossiest friend (she’s 15 years older than me, very petite, and a total spitfire) and I said “Is there any way you can just tell everyone when to go down the aisle?? And maybe just keep an eye on the clock so we know when to cut the cake?!” She was so pumped I put her in charge and she told me years later “Being in charge at your wedding was my favorite thing I ever did in all my years of living in Atlanta!” How fun is that?Not to mention cheaper! Everyone go find your bossy friend and put her in charge – she’ll be so excited! :)

Our wedding venue suggested that all their couples spend 15 mins alone, after the ceremony and before the reception, in a private room together. The whole day was a whirlwind that just whizzed by, and I can’t tell you how much we loved that short time of quite reflection alone together over a glass of champagne, after we’d just made it official and before we got to celebrate with all our family and friends. By forcing us to take a moment, it really allowed time to slow down for a second so we could just be in it together for awhile. I always tell friends who are wedding planning to do the same.

My wedding advice:
-don’t forget to eat.
-don’t sweat the small stuff, you’re lucky to be marrying your favorite person. Enjoy every minute, the day goes by so fast
-have amazing wacky friends who will surprise you with an armadillo “bride’s” cake as a nod to Steel Magnolias.

Caitlin’s orange dress! ???

We did a pizza truck, but we did do rentals for nice plates, tables and chairs. Our pizza company also made beautiful salads and buffalo chicken. The brought local gelato as well.

For table centerpieces, we had a cake for each table. This cut down on the cost of a wedding cake and floral centerpieces. We ended up spending about $25 a cake.

People said it was one of the best meals they’ve had at a wedding – and now friends are asking me about it now that they’re planning their own wedding.

I am just here for Ashley’s wedding photo – gorgeous!!!!

Everyone has advice to give when it comes to weddings, but sometimes it is so difficult to apply when it’s your turn! I think you will never regret being considerate of others and staying true to yourself and your partner(which is hard!). With all these wonderful wedding resources comes pressure and expectation; I sometimes joke, “what would the pilgrims think?” That said, my unsolicited advice is if you plan to take a honeymoon right after, wait an extra day before traveling (i.e. Saturday wedding, leave on Monday). Executing a wedding and packing list sent me over the edge!!

I got married 2 weeks ago! And my sister is getting married in 6 months – so it’s fun to bestow advice to my best gal while it’s still fresh in my mind. What I shared with her:

1. She won’t have a wedding party, aside from a Best Man and Matron of Honor (me!). I told her not to regret that decision. I love my sis and 3 friends that I asked to be bridesmaids, but at 30 years old with careers and (some) families, it felt like a formality. I had friends that weren’t in my bridal party who really SHOWED UP emotionally for me during my engagement, and I had a bridesmaid or two who had so much going on in their personal lives that they didn’t really have time to do the whole “bridesmaid thing”. I don’t regret having my friends stand up with me at my wedding, but I often felt guilty about the certain “obligations” that I asked of them.

2. Instead of a typical rehearsal dinner, we had a “welcome party” at our favorite brewery with our favorite food truck. We were getting married in a city where we live, but the majority of our family and friends were coming from the places where we grew up, so it was a “destination” of sorts. Feeding and getting alcohol into 100 people this way was roughly the same budget-wise as a fancy dinner for 30 at a restaurant, but it was so joyous and fun to see everyone as they came into town. I met my fiance’s aunts and uncles, he met my parents’ friends….so at our actual wedding, we didn’t have to do any meet-and-greets, it was just all about enjoying ourselves and having the best time we could with all of our favorite people.

3. Have the shortest engagement you possibly can. We got married less than 6 months after getting engaged. A friend gave me the best advice: “Whether you set a date in 6 months or a year and 6 months, planning will take over your life, so how long do you really want to be obsessed with a wedding?” The short engagement forced us to be flexible about dates and vendors and silly details and the best part is that we got to be married SOONER!

4. A girl I work with also gave me fantastic advice: Pay someone else to do as much as you possibly can afford so you don’t have to do it. At her own wedding, she regretted taking on so much DIY stuff to save a few bucks, because it took so much time. While my own wedding budget wasn’t extravagant, I took that advice to heart, and tried to value my TIME the same way I was considering actual money. I own my own business, so I’ve learned the value of hiring someone to do something that they can do better than you. I could’ve done my own flowers, but hiring someone else meant that it was one less thing for me to think about AND she did a way better job. The key here: once you pay someone to do it, you can’t keep trying to do it yourself. Relinquish control.

My biggest advice, though, is to get married. It’s a really great thing, and I’m so glad I did it. :)