Four Fun Things

I think it opens in select theatres today in Canada depending on where you live!

That sounds exquisite! This recipe was looking for you.

What an excellent, thoughtful review – thank you! I’d still like to see the film but now I can watch with greater depth perception : )

I agree with you completely and at a certain point I just decided to kind of suspend my disbelief.

I had also just watched White Lotus where one character has a similar line about not wanting to be a “plus one” to their own life. The ending in Worst Person was more fulfilling.

Your review on it is exactly what I was thinking this movie might be based on the trailer. Foreign language, beautiful and mysterious woman, dreamy filming… it usually means something else will lack! I still want to see it, if anything for the sex scene ;-)

I saw it this weekend and your review is so smart! I inserted much of my own experience into the narrative, and I could, because I am a straight white woman who has always been in relationship with artistic types.

I appreciate other opinions, but I so disagree – I will be thinking about this movie for a very long time. I absolutely loved it and felt like I had had so many of the conversations in my own relationships. I agree with the half-baked career storyline, though I think it also set out to show that no one ever really has it figured out. It shows the intensity and beauty of falling in love – and how you want to chase that feeling – but in the end, what matters? Hard to talk about without spoiling it!

I’ve made this wonderful recipe using fresh summer peaches, or nectarines or apricots and each version was terrific.

Sounds magical! Must have been hard to leave such a wonderful country.

I am aghast and righteous on your behalf! How DARE that woman. At a PARTY? YOUR party, no less?! You know what everyone doesn’t make, lady? TENURE.

The fact that you made it so often for your family makes it a family recipe, as far as I’m concerned. And that rude professor’s wife can suck it.

WHO SAYS THAT?? To anyone! Let alone the host. of. the. party. Unbelievably rude.

If ‘everyone’ has been making it for years, then that’s a testament to its excellence and your good taste. (Sure, everyone jumps on a food trend, but home cooks/bakers are notoriously picky about things that actually stay in rotation if you ask me). And if it’s a tradition in your family, then it’s a family recipe! You’re absolutely right about the origin of fruit tarts like this, and it seems quite likely that your great-grandparents made something very similar! I hope your kids are interested in keeping up the tradition–it’s wonderful.

EW. That was so rude! I’m calling this Joanna’s Cake from now on.

Susie, I love you. Thanks for the laugh.

And that insufferably rude woman can go choke on a plum. Joanna’s Torte!

*the two men=the director and the scenarist

@Joanna Goddard What did you think of the age gap between Alana and Gary? I thought it was an extremely bizarre choice given the #MeToo era. I know that the 70s were a different time, but they could have easily narrowed the gap a bit!

For the record, my husband disagreed with me because of their genders and the fact that Gary had already “come of age” / had sexual experience. STILL!

JOANNA I came here to comment same about Licorice Pizza. I borderline hated it. I think I wouldn’t have hated it had the film not had such a self-satisfied air throughout, like, “Hey everyone, the cool kids are hanging out and we’ll let you watch us.” I love Haim, and I loved seeing Alana in this role and all of the interactions with her (real-life) parents and sisters, and I wanted more for her at every single turn. It frustrated me so much that the film seems satisfied with how things turn out for her: Her story line is good and full and right because We Say So. The whole thing felt self-indulgent and self-congratulatory to me. Of course my husband loved it because he’s a Hollywood nerd and was in on all of the Easter eggs references to, of course, PTA’s other films.

@Heather, this is spot on! I had the exact same feeling about how self-indulgent Liquorice Pizza was and really disliked the entire feeling of the movie.

Me too, Hilde! Jeg er også norsk :). I love when Norwegian films, music etc is recognised abroad.

I’m sorry, I haven’t been cheated on but also hate that cheating is so whitewashed, justified and even idealized by Hollywood. Cheating (or “everything but”) isn’t sexy or sweet and it isn’t ok just because the cheated on character is stuck up or something. Why is it that “Notebook”, “You’ve Got Mail”, etc. are such classics?

100%! I too experienced something similar, and avoided shows / movies where cheaters were always the protagonists, and get their happy endings and the pain of spouses / S.O left behind never told, as if they never mattered

I’m sorry you’ve experienced that, I can emphasize with you. I avoid media that glorifies cheating as well, I don’t find it entertaining.

As a fellow norwegian who lived in Oslo for 15 years I totally agree. The movie really captures how the city feels!

Me too :))

Lala, I am right there with you. I get so frustrated when I turn on a movie or TV series that I’ve been wanting to see, only to have to turn it off because of a shaky camera. I get instant motion sickness and a headache. I really wish the trend would stop.

Fresh air really is incredible. When my daughter was 2 she spiked a fever of 102 hours before a camping trip. My husband goes ‘stick a boob (we were still breastfeeding) and tylenol in her i’ll pack up let’s go!’ I researched the nearest in network clinic and away we went. It was the fastest i’ve ever had a kid recover from an illness. She slept awesome, played in the dirt, and the summer air did it’s incredible thing.

I could not relate more!! Totally agree with you, Julia :) So happy you are happier with less angst! I too jumped from medicine to clinical dietetics (not psychology) – and then to a lower paying job (no degree required) that brings me JOY and PEACE and makes me feel free. When I go home I have time and energy to fill my life with fun things. I feel driven by curiosity and am much more in tune with myself and with life. The angst is gone and there is room for creativity again :) Again; so happy for you, Julia!!

I came here to write the same – dropped a career as an MD-PhD for a pay the bills sort of job and likewise lost my angst almost overnight. Guess I gotta see this movie!

Ohhhhh boy. I’ve been daydreaming about doing a similar move for YEARS. Is the Cup of Jo comment section going to be what pushes me to actually do it?!?!

Wow, I am stunned by the genius of “in the Netherlands, at least among their crew, success was defined as having control over your own time.” I have been working as an attorney for 25-plus years (gulp) and am nearing retirement. Compared to most lawyers, my work has not been overwhelming, but still… The idea of being successful by being in control of my own time is mind-blowing. Thank you for this post and the comments – this will be a huge help going forward as I plan my retirement and help my soon-to-be-college-student daughter plan her work life, too. THANK YOU, Joanna and COJ for yet-another pearl of wisdom and joy xoxo

“We could hire a bunch more people, really spin Cup of Jo out and do eight million different projects, but I love the site as it is. I love the tight-knit community that surrounds it. Is making it bigger worth not spending as much time with my kids in this golden age that they’re in right now?”

Love that Joanna. I would love to read a post about that feeling. It’s interesting but I’m a uni professor and last year, bcause of covid, I volunteered for 6 months at a vaccination center. My responsability was very minor so I just had to be responsible for my being in a good mood and make people feel safe and comfortable. I loved finishing my day leaving every thing behind and with energy for many other things. I used to love my job (being a prof), but now I have so many admin responsibilities. I’m ready to be more in control of my time. (I’m sorry I don’t make sense)

“Success was defined as having control over your own time.”

Love this! Been thinking about this over the past 2 years – since Covid basically. I need to keep reminding myself of this.

Ok ladies I am on the BRINK of such a decision (got my PhD in Psychology last year, 2 weeks before I gave birth to my baby girl). Part of me wants to keep going up, up, up to the top, I have a feeling that my path is towards something that gives me peace, somewhere with less angst, where my life is full of other things (my girl <33). Adding these comments to my lists of signs from the universe xx

For me, I experienced a lot of abuse growing up and channeled all of my energy into academic and athletic success. I did truly love medicine and medical school, but I realized how much of life I had missed out on and wanted to get back. And to do that I had to make that part of my life my focus.

I wanted more relationships and to experience intimacy in a way I had been afraid to for so long, and made those things my goal. It’s always a work in progress but I feel so much more able to grow this side of me while also pursue a career I love now, it just took a few years of really focused energy on building relationships and love since it had been neglected in my life until then and I desperately wanted to experience this side of life I had missed out on.

On the outside I know my family thinks I gave up on my dreams, but my dreams just grew to include more than a career. But I also didn’t give up those ambitions either and am excited to work hard and follow new dreams. By taking a break from them, I feel so much more able to let all of these things continue to grow together.

Julia, I loved this “On the outside I know my family thinks I gave up on my dreams, but my dreams just grew to include more than a career.”

I, too, would love to see a post about women who took a detour from a well-defined/well-educated/well-earned career path and found happiness and fulfillment in a new, creative, simpler way.

I earned my MA before starting a family in my 30s, with the intent that this career path would allow work flexibility as a mother eventually. Fast forward three kids and more than a decade happily as a stay at home mom. Now that the kids are in school, of course I could return to the MA field; however, I’m finding I have little to no interest in the field and the plan laid out for myself in my early 30s. What sounds juicier is something totally unrelated where my schedule can be simple and my contribution not so academically rigorous.

I love this comment thread! I too followed a very respected career path (PhD from a prestigious university then postdoctoral fellowship) and then quit to do something far less prestigious – be a stay at home mum. I realized during my PhD that I didn’t want to stay in academia but it took literal years to be able to admit that to myself, let alone take the decision to do what I actually wanted to do. I had many, many conversations with my husband where I anxiously asked him if he would still respect me if I quit the work force to be with our – at the time – hypothetical future children.

I still have many moments where I feel like people must think less of me for not working outside the home or using my big brain for intellectual purposes, especially all my friends and husband who did go on to become profs. BUT I’m honestly a bazillion times happier being home with my kids, despite the fact that I’m exhausted all the time, covered in poo or spit up a lot of the time, and have a three year old who’s really embracing her ability to make total sense and also no sense whatsoever at the same time. Having three kids in almost exactly three years is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, bar none (and times a million), I’m constantly overwhelmed and have no time for myself (youngest is 12 weeks old), and yet it’s the biggest joy I could imagine. (Not to romanticize being a SAHM, I’m very lucky and privileged to have been able to choose this life and it is also HARD.)

I can relate so much to this – I’m a 28-year-old resident from Europe and think about leaving Medicine every day. I have no control over my hours, my nights and my weekends. Salary is low-average (I live in a latin country and salaries are bad) and can I can only earn more if I literally do more on-call nights which suck the life out of me and keep me nauseated and sleep deprived for days after. My BMI is horribly low and I am had to start medication just to keep my anxiety at bay. I choose a specialty I don’t even like because of family pressure and the future looks grim nonetheless. I am, above all, angry to the bones. I feel betrayed and stuck in a rat race my superiors are bittered as well, and I feel increasingly cynical.

All this to say – Joana, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE a series on women who changed paths, like all this wonderful people above me have (especially the ones who had the guts to leave high-achieving jobs for other less ‘prestigious’ ones for the sake of their peace). Interviews, life stories, whatever. Just an idea :)

My uncle (a great baker) always said that with pie, there are those who like the crust, and those who like the filling. He abhorred cooked fruit and would just eat the crust around it. I, on the other hand, would eat the fruit and leave the crust! Anyway, my point is, there are a lot of cooked fruit-haters out there. But I love it!

Ha! Agree TRB, if it came off a tree like that….eat it like that!!! Its doesnt need to be cooked to be edible.

And yes to you Uncle Laura, love love that crust !

This is so fascinating and feels right! I’d also add that maybe the career plot feels half baked only from an American point of view?

Americans are incredibly career-obsessed v. the rest of the world. Like: I (American) work with a large European team and when I met them for the first time no one asked me that most American question – “what do you do?” – because they truly did not care! They wanted to know about my family and my hobbies and what I did for fun outside of work. I’m sure Anne’s right that having zero social safety net plays a huge role in why Americans place their careers at the center of their lives.

So maybe the career plot isn’t half baked, or maybe it *is* half-baked but it’s intentional and/or inconsequential. After all, there’s only so much oven capacity – why not focus on baking the other parts of your life (family, friends, hobbies, community) to perfection?

Granted I haven’t seen the movie, but I agree that as a European living in the States work is such a big piece of a person’s identity. Also living in Norway the protagonist probably makes a good income from working at a book store, and being a doctor wouldn’t be paid the same large salary it would be in the States. This is something I think a lot about as a Brit who misses long vacations and a better work/life balance. I don’t think Europeans talk as much about work so it doesn’t matter as much what you do and so why not have a less stressful job that you don’t have to take home with you?

To me, she seemed like a passionate person going all in on what/who fascinated her in the moment. Medicine was replaced with psychology, again replaced with photography – and then love! I thought it was clever, not at all half-baked!

And insurance! a lack of universal healthcare prevents SO many people (including me) from career changes. Many “passion jobs” don’t have benefits, and becoming an entrepreneur or small business owner is very difficult because you have to figure out how to provide those for yourself and others :( The United States, with its lack of healthcare, really drives down creativity, experimentation, and innovation.

Excellent point about the U.S. and healthcare Erin. My parents wanted their children to be happy and end up in careers they enjoyed. The one thing they stressed was to find a job w/ healthcare benefits.

My dad is a barber. My mom was going to be a SAHM. Their first child, my older sister, was born with a rare disease that couldn’t be treated in the late 70s. She lived to be almost 2. My parents were saddled with debt from her illness, taking 20 years to pay off. After she passed, my mom ended up getting a job solely for health benefits.

In my mid twenties, I was sitting on the driveway with my paternal grandfather. He said to me “I’m glad one of my son’s is successful.” He was talking about my uncle, the engineer and CEO. He was not talking about my dad, the barber.

I was angry. How do you define success? My dad’s idea of success was a happy and healthy family who loved one another. He achieved that in spades. Do I wish we had more money growing up? Sure! But we were fine. I wouldn’t have given up the family dinners and games and weekends and togetherness for any amount of money in the world.

I know it totally wasn’t meant this way, but I couldn’t help feeling slightly gutted by it feeling “half-baked” that someone could be top of their class and then end up working in a bookshop! I’m in a different field but I’ve been top of my class all through university, valedictorian of my undergraduate class, national research funding through my MA and PhD, won one of the most competitive, prestigious PhD scholarships in the country, etc. – almost fifteen years into it all and I am literally counting down the months until I flee academia forever. I’m very seriously considering working at a local shop that makes handmade pasta, and my husband and I talk about starting a neighbourhood bakery together one day, after I take a few years off to be a SAHM with our future babies, and the idea of all of this brings me unbelievable joy!! More joy than I have ever felt being top of my class :)

All that said, it’s obviously just a tender spot for me to be reminded that some people will look at that choice and be disappointed (though of course not everyone will think that, and ultimately it won’t matter as long as I’m happy). But I’m also Canadian, living somewhere that doesn’t have a high cost of living (definitely nowhere near New York!) and while we don’t have Scandinavian levels of social support and public healthcare, we do have a lot! So it’s really interesting to think about how that affects my ability to make the decisions I’m making.

I’d agree that it’s a factor in NA for sure! Especially if someone is making the transition to being an employee to being self-employed. It is very expensive to be self-employed or a small business owner – we pay for everything that large corporations don’t.

My husband for sure carries the mindset of keep the job that pays – and there are many responsible adults who have done that and it’s admirable – but he also spends a lot of time thinking about what he likes to do. We’re guiding our sons to think not just about doing something they like (or love) but building skills that will help themselves and others. Things need to be done sometimes whether we like doing them.

He asked our drain cleaner when he was here unclogging our toilet and pipes (yuck) whether he liked his job. This young man, early 20s said: Sure! It’s a dirty job and I’m exhausted at the end of the day. But it’s my dad’s business and someday it will be mine. People are really happy when I show up and they’re really happy when I leave! What other profession offers that?

I was so thankful for his perspective informing my sons.

Ooh! Any chance you have recommendations for specific hikes in the Salem/Eugene area of Oregon?

LS: SO MANY in the Salem area! Unfortunately the Lion’s Head and Beachie Creek fires in 2020 have left some of the prettiest cascade-foothill hikes closed, there are many more that are open. For kid friendly explorations, Champoeg (pronounced “shampoo-y”) state park is delightful and I haven’t been to Willamette Mission state park – but it’s even closer. But your best bet is to scroll through the Salem Statesman-Journal’s outdor reporter – Zach Urness – on twitter. He has articles on every kind of hike near Salem – near and far, easy and hard!

Yes to this! Even some county parks here in the Pacific NW :)

Great tip!

Additionally, any American with a permanent disability is eligible for a lifetime national parks pass! https://www.nps.gov/subjects/accessibility/access-pass.htm