Gift Guide #6: Your Daredevil Younger Brother Whose Antics Delight Everyone, Especially Your Kids.

Haha yep, 100%

not even kidding, would be so down for a CoJ community-vetted matchmaking program.
CoJ fam, send your best single people recommendations!! I trust your judgment and taste to find me love hahaha

Hahahaha. First thing I thought as well.

same here, i laughed out loud when i saw his picture.

As a fellow Australian I am also curious! I can’t imagine the look on my friends and family’s faces if I bought them some matches! They are very aesthetically pleasing though, ha!

I’m merely one American, but I’ve never known myself or anyone else to have matches as a Thing. In fact, I don’t think I’ve even seen anyone other than myself use one for years –they light their candles/fires/gas stoves with lighters. I’m guessing lifestyle/design people tend to gravitate toward the “cool” thing, which is why you see it on social media, and the rest of us just use the practical thing but don’t bother saying anything about it.

I think it’s like getting any other simple item but at a different level of luxury or detail than you would buy for yourself, like getting gourmet coffee or expensive olive oil.

The comment about imagining the look on your family’s face made me laugh because literally yesterday my husband and I (in Canada) got a package from my sister (in London) with some beautiful matches she got at a restaurant there and the look on our faces was delight! We always bring home matchbooks from restaurants if they have them and love vintage ones too, and while we do love design, we don’t use social media. We love the matches for lighting candles and our fireplace but we also always, always have some in a nice bowl in the bathroom! Maybe tmi but lighting a match is the absolute best thing for getting rid of smells :)

Also, if any fellow lovers of vintage matchbooks are reading this, you can often find bags of them on ebay, kijiji, etc – something we learned from my sister!

I’m American and I don’t get the match thing either. To hazard a guess, our society is ultra capitalist/consumeristic. So, you can’t go to a museum without exiting through the gift shop and utlimately buying some useless thing. And every holiday, even ones like Memorial Day and Labor Day, become excuses to buy stuff. In this country we measure success by how much people consume, not whether they are adequately housed, feed, healthy.
So yeah, the match thing is strange but not surprising in the US. Not sure if Australia is the same with the super focus on consumerism.
PS. I am also flummoxed by the whole mug/shirt/sweatshirt with “funny” phrases trend. Seems like it just adds to the piles of junk we all have rather than intentionally purchasing well crafted, ethically produced goods.

D – love that approach to gifts. I am trying to am for that this year. Smaller things that are more special or with a twist on what you might buy for yourself.

This made me laugh. My parents have collected matches from all the places they eaten and traveled over the years. So they have a big basket in the living room full of match books from all over. They are so fun to look through and ask about. So I definitely don’t think it is a consumerism thing (or it isn’t for our family), but a way to remember special and important places/celebrations/events. I also agree that it’s a nice special treat for everyday items – like olive oil or dish towels.

Ha, thanks everyone! I’ve learned a lot — especially that it’s not just me who wonders! I’ve legitimately never seen a matchbook from a restaurant or a hotel, which seem like nice keepsakes.

echoing D ~~ elevating the every day :)

Hahaha!

Um, right?! Thanks Santa!

I kept scrolling back up to the first picture just to feast on his face. Right there with you

Haha, I had the same reaction to this post… I kept scrolling up thinking, lobster rolls yum, wait…WHO’S brother is this?!

I second that …….LOL

100%. Is he available too?

This is exactly what I wrote on the instagram post! HELLO!

Yes! He’s so cute but also, just somehow seems ike a really nice person!

My tall, thin husband finally resorted to buying too-wide shirts and taking them to a dry cleaner to be tailored. I’ve actually done a few myself – if you’re crafty at all, it’s pretty easy!

My tall husband likes j crew for their tall sizes in shirts/sweaters, and I always get him tall pj bottoms from lands end every year. :)

My husband is also 6’4″ and he loves the Nordstrom men sweaters that come in tall sizes.

My husband has had custom shirts made w/ Taylor Stitch!

L.L. Bean and Pendleton! For Tall people!

I bought a Houdini zip-up sweatshirt for my thin 6’3” partner last year – size M. Sleeves fit. Body is long (not boxy). He put it on and kept it on!

Banana Republic sells size “long”! My partner has had good luck with these.

Hi! My husband is tall and very thin. His dress is mostly casual, and he leans hard into the Colorado 30-something male aesthetic so maybe this will or will not help. He has had luck with Prana, REI sells tall (they even have small-tall in some shirts (most Tall sections start at medium); J. Crew slim fit; Marmot outerwear; Mammot hoodies have long enough sleeves for him; and LL Bean Tall.

Huckberry
Charles Tyrwhitt

Thank you all! I’ll be checking these out.
I may have to improve my sewing skills enough that I could tailor a garment for wear in public 😂

That is a compelling question! Personally speaking, as a non-binary woman, like reading biographies of any gender, from Catherine the Great to Steve Jobs. When it comes to gifts, I wouldn’t overthink it: Choose the gift, or book, that feels right. My sister would enjoy the Agassi book, and my brother would enjoy a female-authored book, if it is a subject that excites him (and if he was a reader 😂 ).

This (Jo’s response) is surprising and a little bit sad. How do we understand the human condition and lived experience of half the population if each of us is respectively only exposed to “like us” insights?

I also like the idea of gift guides around interests. Would add that I’m trying really hard to move away from physical gifts outside of what people ask for. The marketing of ‘stuff’ on the internet has really reached a fever pitch in recent years and in light of the climate emergency doesn’t feel great contributing to the problem by purchasing loads of new things every holiday season. On that note would love to see CoJ make a guide geared towards people interested in keeping things low waste this year.

I’m not so into keychains but I’d love anything else on this list! And am reading the Agassi memoir now and will add the Tubbs one to my list. I actually like how CoJ lists are fairly neutral. Though i agree a book by a female identifying writer would be welcome to see on a “mens” gift list (or in a man’s hands)

I feel like recent memoir is dominated by women. Maybe because readers tend to be women?

I could see why my husband would look for memoirs that reflect a man’s experience of the world. The markers of his life are different than the markers in mine. In reading memoirs, you are looking for how the author’s experience is reflected in your own.

My own memoir reading probably skews 95% women/5% men.

I don’t necessarily view this gift guide with only men in mind. Obviously it has been framed as gift guide for brothers but there are plenty of items here I would personally like or that I would buy for a female friend or relative. And vice versa for the sister or best friend gift guides. So for that reason I was not really focussed on the gendered nature of the suggested books. That being said, I agree with Joanna that my husband would gravitate to a memoir by a man and I would gravitate to one by a woman. Not quite sure why or if that’s a problem, maybe just about relatability.

I feel like this gift guide is super gender neutral actually! I def had that air freshener in my last car, have that hand sanitizer, love lobster rolls and am currently reading the Andre Agassi memoir :)

Keep up the great, thoughtful work!

I have also read a lot of mostly female -authored memoirs lately, because throughout life I had more than my share of male heroes (starts with Harry Potter, “classics” in school, lots of current literature). We women are a lot more used to reading the male perspective and their specific problems than the other way around, I couldn’t name a highly read book (by men and women) that mentions periods as frequently as Hemingway his “funny little problem”.
When I look at my partner’s bookshelf, it’s nearly all male white authors (his into fantasy and sci-fi, that’s probably not helping). And similar with my dad’s bookshelf, which kind of only includes a book by women if they have won an award. I don’t think they do it consciously – it already starts with the book covers (remember coverflip?) And if Agassi is their hero, a memoir about him is a good idea – I think the main point is to make the receiver happy.
And (I learnt and is the new but) – it’s fun to give them something that they enjoy, and also gives them a new perspective.
So my question for you – what books which are out of the box (so no Pulitzer prize winners) would you recommend for the typical guy in your life? As much as I love “difficult women, a history of feminism in 11 fights” more like something that has a bit more “accessible”.
To name a few from my side:
Graphic Novels. the best we could do by Thi But and Red Rosa by Kate Evans
Sci-Fi: Murderbot by Martha Wells or Perseophone Station by Stina Leicht
Travel books: Erika Fatland: The Border
Non-fiction: Invisible women (Hey, it’s data) or angry weather by Frederike Otto.
So most books aren’t really “feminist” books, but female/non-binary lead.
Any ideas for memoirs except Michelle Obama’s? At the moment, I can’t see them reading Glennon Doyle or Ann Patchett (they should, but…)

I felt this way about the suggestion for the coding school – I think uncle’s everywhere should be encouraged to give to that coding school for girls – especially if they are in tech.
https://girlswhocode.com/
Uncles are a great hinge-pin for social change and it allows them to feel good about themselves and genuinely make a difference.

oops: “younger brothers” haha

@ Georgia
This is a fantastic idea! I for one have been casually – but resolutely – pondering what gifts like that would look like. For me the sheer invasiveness of digital marketing has ruined the joy of gift shopping for me. I suppose that couldn’t have happened at a better time, environmentally.

Looking at my partners picks on our bookshelf I definitely relate to Laura – so much sci-fi! All white men!
However he also reads some of my picks. In particular the two female written memoirs that were a hit were Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl by Carrie Brownstein (of Sleater-Kinney and Portlandia fame) and Persepolis which Jo mentions above. Given his current obsession with The Great I could also see a Catherine the Great memoir being well received since he’s already been googling her non stop to see what in the show was actually real.

@Laura, you hit the nail on the head. The sadness I was feeling is about women reading and watching and listening to “guy”-authored stuff, but the reverse seeming to be much more rare.

A book I’d like to add to this list just because I feel like it has some stereotypical “man” appeal but is also gorgeous, political without being political, and written by a woman: The Hour of Land by Terry Tempest Williams. Personal reflective essays set in and about national parks, and unexpectedly profound.

Why hello there fellow Taylor Swift fan 😂

Hahahhaha a good one! :)

I’m always wishing for Taylor discourse here 🤣👏🏻 Day made