Gift Guide #1: Your Best Friend Who Gave You 15 Nicknames and Will Never Not Answer Your Call.

Elizabeth Holmes talked about this exact thing on a podcast recently to promote the book – Check out the recent Bad on Paper podcast by Grace Atwood – it’s really interesting to listen to.

Hi Sarah- thank you so much for replying!! I JUST finished listening to that podcast- it was very interesting and helpful!

Sadie, that’s so lovely. You sound like an amazing friend. Never met your friend obviously – but as a fellow gay ‘late bloomer’, I am also celebrating her so much right now. ❤️

I second this! I think it’s quite rare.

There may still be time! I met mine in my 30s :)

K – no need to apologize, my dear. I love your ability to hold gratefulness and sorrow at the same time. That’s so special. I really hope you find some more close ties (in my experience, sometimes sharing something personal and taking the risk can be so valuable and begin reciprocation in a friendship).

Hugs!

K – I feel the same way! I love my friends… but a friend that gives me nicknames and always takes my call sounds like a dream come true. Maybe we’ll find our bff soulmates in 2021…

What a great recommendation! Thanks!!!

Can you fill me in? Thanks

The author appears to be a different Elizabeth Holmes: https://www.byelizabethholmes.com/hrh

I never understand why people post comments like this. Regular readers know Joanna always permits open (respectful) discussion. And that it’s a small team (there’s not some mystery ‘admin’) trying to work through comments as best they can. Fair to post criticism, Joanna takes input with such grace. But don’t forget the kind personal corner of the internet you’re coming to, this isn’t some mass social site.

What was the controversy? The only Elizabeth Holmes I have heard of is the former CEO of Theranos.

Hey! I just have to say that the author of this book is a DIFFERENT Elizabeth Holmes. This author is not the elizabeth holmes of theranos. Given that your message was not very kind, I ask that you do your research before accusing COJ.

I feel like she was very open to criticism and sharing the mic with black women this summer and beyond. I don’t think there is really controversy unless you have her confused with the other Elizabeth Holmes

https://www.instagram.com/p/CBCIRrhHmkt/?igshid=jbxa23aapxo5

I don’t follow So Many Thoughts personally, but here is an Instagram apology post the author Elizabeth Holmes posted.

HAHAHAH dying that someone thought Theranos Elizabeth Holmes would get a deal to publish a coffee table book on royal fashion!?

I was just reading this article posted on Reading My Tea Leaves about the ethical consumer. May be an interesting read for others here as well as I know this conversation arises with this group. https://atmos.earth/ethical-consumerism/

Maldi, I actually just listened to Elizabeth Holmes interviewed on the Bad on Paper podcast, and she addressed how much she learned from the BLM movement and used that knowledge to inform her practices moving forward. I was actually really impressed with her lack of defensiveness and willingness to take responsibility and change for the better. In hindsight she said she’s ashamed she never addressed the racism Meghan Markle, and instead tried to just focus on her clothes, which is what Elizabeth Holmes brand is all about. Now she’s expanded her Instagram to address the full context, and be more socially responsible. I think you might want to reconsider her decision to change and be better as a sign of hope. I don’t think there’s a reason to cancel her.

Thank you for saying something—I was really disappointed to see that book on this list, too. And yes she did apologize on Instagram, but there were so many black women commenting asking her to stop covering Meghan entirely, but she didn’t. She apologized and continued in the way that suited her.

I’d love to see this space in the list given to a black-owned business or BIPOC author instead.

I think it’s worth talking about cancel culture, the ability to learn from our mistakes, and the gift that has been the Black Lives Matter movement (especially for me, as a white person, who has always felt like an ally but never realized the depth of racism in my own life). Elizabeth Holmes was able to learn a valuable lesson and grow as a person when she was called out about how damaging speaking about black women’s hair (and fashion, and character, etc) can be as a white person. I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn (and UNLEARN) about how to discuss these things.

We all deserve the opportunity to do better.

I’m with HAHAHAHA, imagining Theranos Elizabeth Holmes getting a royal fashion book deal is the laughter I needed today.

Elizabeth Holmes did apologize, she did share the mic, etc., and this is all good & a sign of hope & what she should have done. But I’m tired of forgiving priveleged white ladies, especially whose journey to race awareness never involved personal or professional sacrifice. She is still profiting off her work, and it’s being promoted here. I don’t want to “cancel” her but I DO for gosh sakes want to buy books written by real black women, about black lives and things that matter to black minds. We don’t need to cancel Elizabeth Holmes, we can thank her for the apology and then look around at the huge world of media & output by black people that needs to be supported, promoted, shared. linked to, & consumed, etc! I don’t think saying sorry and then continuing to do the same work with the same white privelege is moving us forward. Listening to and prioritizing black voices will! I’m just tired of hearing white people talk all the time. Time to listen.

sigh… forgiveness, asking for it and receiving it, is what makes us human. in our quest for a more equitable and just world, let’s not forget our humanity.

My tip would be to do the thing men do with button down shirts – wear a t-shirt underneath. This will protect the sweater against armpit smells and deodorant stains too.

I SWEAR by Numi undershirts during sweater weather. They have some serious underarm pads that keep your sweat and smells on the undershirt and not in your sweater.

A friend of mine told me Michelle Obama wears them, so of course I had to have them too, hahahaha. They work super great! And they are easy to wash and dry. I really love the cropped short-sleeved top as it fits under everything.

The only cashmere I’ve ever encountered that doesn’t pill is way out of my pay grade. My MIL has a lot of very thick high end stuff and it always holds up. But a sweater shaver does wonders! (The NADAAM sweater linked is insanely soft btw, but does pill like crazy. My husband got one for interviews last year). As for smell, undershirts and regular brushing and airing work pretty well.

I just bought one of those numi undershirts ..seems to be working well so far. If they were less expensive I’d buy a couple.

I’ve always hand-washed my cashmere sweaters in a sink with cold water and a little Johnson’s Or Burts Bees Baby Shampoo, then roll on a towel and lay flat to dry. Has always worked well for me. Sweater shaver if needed.

I find that Reformation cashmere sweaters don’t pill, and I have a non-pilling one from the brand Cashmere Addiction that I got secondhand. I wash them every few wears in cold water in the bathroom sink, roll them in a towel to pre-dry, and then drape them over a towel on a rod in the bathroom to dry all the way. Easy peasy, no pills, no smells. I have a cold house and *live* in cashmere sweaters in the winter because they’re warm and cozy without being bulky!

I use this for all my suit jackets as well ( but not ones with acetate liners, they will dramatically shrivel and destroy the lining) : heavily spray armpits, inside and out, with drugstore isopropyl alcohol kept in a mister bottle in your closet or laundry. As it evaporates, due to the high alcohol content, it works like a diy drycleaner and the odors evaporate off with it. Never dry clean clothes that will be next to your skin unless you use an eco-drycleaner. You do not want those chemicals under your arms next to your breasts.

Numi undershirts all they way! They’re comfy, don’t show, soak up all the sweat, and you can machine wash them 1000 times.

Anyone know how this brow mascara compares to glossier’s brow boy?

MJ, I feel like it very similar. I think Boy Brow might give your brows a touch more body (does that make sense with brows? Seems like it thickens up the individual hairs) but the general look and feel is nearly identical with my brows (for reference, I have naturally dark, fairly thick brows).

Yes, boy brow is a bit thicker, this brow mascara is slightly more liquidy – but for me they do virtually the same job. I like the NYX one better because you get more product than boy brow for a much lower price. This is also very similar to the MAC brow mascara which I used and loved for years before finding this drugstore ‘dupe’

Almay has a nice one too, in a few colors.

Brow Boy/Boy Brow, lol. Thanks Lora and Morgan, that’s helpful!

Boy brow is slightly thicker/has more hold. I have blonde eyebrows and prefer the NYX product because it comes in a lighter shade than boy brow. The price point is also ideal!

I feel like the flowers, cookies, and gift card are all examples of alternatives to “stuff”. Everyone can also make their own choice to buy or not. There are still a lot of people that own small businesses and depend on the holidays to make a living.

One way to easily reduce waste is to skip wrapping paper!

Also another thing to consider is that small businesses are hurting. For those that have money to spend this year, they can use it at small businesses like Sweet Mae’s or their local florist. And, as Jo said, local restaurants.

I’m watching so many local businesses close this year, that this gift guide alone could support 6 stores in my neighborhood if I ignored the specific brands. A sweater from my local boutique, the book from my local bookshop (who is REALLY struggling right now and I’d be heartbroken if they closed), a candle from another shop up the street, flowers from my local florist. I think if you’re hurting financially, you go the handwritten card route. If you’re lucky enough to still have a paycheck, you can support your community. Easy as that.