Do You Care About Height When Dating?

I totally understand not being able to help what you find attractive, but I hate to hear women say things like “I could *never* date someone shorter than me. I find it so offensive! Maybe this is largely due to the fact that my brother is far shorter than he should have been had chemo and radiation not killed all of his human growth hormone during cancer treatments as a young child. He’s about 5’5″ while the rest of our nuclear family is 5′ 8″ and up, with my dad being a whopping 6’5”! To think someone would pass on my brother for something like his height makes my blood boil a bit….

My husband is a full foot taller than me. I wore flats to our wedding and in my favorite picture, I’m basically up to his elbow.

Everyone in my family is tall, my mom and I being 5’8″ and my dad, brothers, and sons all between 6’2″ and 6’6″. So it’s ingrained in me to find tall men very attractive.

Nothing wrong with finding certain things attractive. People often conflate “what society thinks is right” with “what you find attractive”.

Not wanting to be with a shorter guy you find attractive because of “what would people think?” is different than not wanting to be with a shorter guy because “I just don’t find him attractive.”

As a man, I don’t think the former makes any sense (I think women on average are more concerned with that), the second is very understandable, and people often don’t differentiate between the two.

As a rather tall woman (5’10), I’ve dated men that were 6’5. I’ve dated men that were 5’6. Sure it’s nice when the guy is really tall. But a short confident man makes height irrelevant. For me, there are so many more important things I consider above height.

I’ve been reading these comments and it’s interesting to see so many women saying they are now embarrassed or regret wanting a taller guy. Of course that’s fine for tastes to change, but we are all allowed to have preferences. I have always been most attracted to tall brunettes but just married a tall blonde after 12 years together. I love seeing him in a crowded room and feeling so attracted to him after all these years and I make no apologies that part of the reason is his 6 10” frame!

My husband is 5’7″ and I’m 5’5″. I was married to someone 6’2″ for 25 years and thought I wanted a “tall” guy. My current husband is the love of my life, totally amazing, and I found that I totally prefer his height to someone much taller. It just shows what society teaches us to “like” isn’t reality at all.

At 5’3″ I am fairly average in height but I’ve always felt like a shorty. I come from a tall family, my parents and five siblings all hover right around 6ft. A 6ft tall coworker friend once joked to me that I must have a thing for 6ft tall humans after meeting my boyfriend (6ft) and my two best friends (also 6ft). It wasn’t until she pointed it out that I realized how many people in my life are 6ft tall, I guess they just feel like home to me.

I have been attracted to guys who are shorter, same, or taller than me. Height was never one of the factors necessary for dating someone since I was more interested in finding someone who is fun and loving. Height is a part of who someone is, but it does not determine how compatible they will be.
I somehow ended up falling in love with a 6’8″ man (I am 5’4″). He is WAY too tall for me, but I fell in love with him and height did not stop us from getting married.

At 5’8″, I’m not super tall, but I’ve found that it’s usually the guys that have the problem with the height difference. I’ve dated two guys that ended things shortly (ha!) after they realized they were shorter than me. It didn’t really bother me. I did end up marrying a guy that is almost 6’3″, but his height wasn’t a factor in why I fell in love with him.

I am 5’10”, and my husband is 5’9″. But let me start off by saying, we used to be the same height. Then I got pregnant with twins and started going to the chiropractor and she straightened some of my scoliosis and fixed my back pain…. BUT I GOT TALLER!!!!! I mean, my back felt better, but all I could do was laugh because years ago I used to struggle with the height difference between us, and now here I was, pregnant with our 3rd and 4th babies….and I got TALLER! I even made a joke about it to him, like hey, I think we’ve both noticed that I’m taller now…but it’s fine right!? Like, we’ve been married 9 years but this is okay?! Of course he ZERO percent cares and is the most amazing human alive. But I came here to say to all the girls like me that are tall, and perhaps even writing off the amazing guys that are not…..do you know when height doesn’t matter? When your newborn twins are screaming and your husband leans over and says “Go back to sleep. I’ve got this.” THAT’S A MAN, LADIES. Get over the height difference and marry the man that you KNOW will step up and deal with the screaming newborn twins. This is the kind of marriage advice I want to give people!!! And for the record, our surprise baby #5 is due any day now, and after almost 10 years of marriage, I can promise you that height is not what makes a marriage work! It’s selflessness.

I’m 5’9” and my husband is 6’0”. I really relate to the other commenter who said they wanted to shrink themselves when they were younger. Social expectations are awful and wrong and frustrating. I have dated guys around my height and much taller. As much as it shames me to admit it, I do initially feel a stronger physical attraction to a man who is significantly taller/larger than me. Whether this is social conditioning or an evolutionary response (maybe both), tall broad guys often give me that automatic weak-in-the knees feeling. Maybe there is something about a man who could physically dominate or protect me that appeals to my id/reptile brain. But I married a guy who I connected with on a heart and intellect level first. He’s a handsome guy, but it took longer for the sexual attraction to build for me.

A guy friend of mine who is 5’5″ once told me when he sees a girl he’s interested in, before he goes to talk to her, he’ll first look to see if she’s wearing a wedding band, and then look to see if she has heels on. I asked him if that meant he wouldn’t be interested in a girl if she was taller than him, and he said “Oh, she could be 6’5″ for all I care, I just know the chances are slim she’ll be interested in me if she’s that much taller than me.” Made me sad to think of all the tall ladies who hadn’t given this great guy the time of day!

I am 5’9”, my husband is 5’7”. And I have a thicker build and he is fairly thin so I outweigh him by a fair amount as well. Before him I only dated much taller men because I felt I “had to” basically in order to be feminine. I’m so glad I got over that bit of internalized sexism. The height and weight difference in my relationship has never been an issue at all and my husband has always made me feel like a goddess. I wear whatever shoes I want. I think the key is to date someone who is secure and confident in their own self—it frees us up to be the same.

The guy I dated in high school was 5″2 (an inch shorter than me) and his height wasn’t what bothered me, it was his integrity. He would lie a lot, cheated on me, and was always very jealous and insecure. I ended up marrying a wonderful person who just so happens to be 6″3. In the end, values and personality matter so much more. The fact that I can wear shoes other than flats without my partner feeling insecure is just the cherry on top.

I am 6’2 and always went for men who were taller than me because it made me feel less conspicuous. When I read that back to myself it makes me cringe, but that was my reality, growing up in a world where the first thing anyone ever commented on when meeting me for the first time was my height.
When I met my husband 8 years ago, he was newly widowed with 2 small children and probably 1.5 inches shorter than me. We were set up by friends. After a few dates he said to his dad ‘she’s a bit taller than I am’. His dad pointed out that after all that he had been through that should be the least of his worries!
We have been married now for 6 years and we are so simpatico that the fact that he is a little shorter than me does not cross my mind. He loves my height and has made me so much more comfortable with it myself.

I’m 5’8″ and I have a lot of *feelings* about this haha – I went to a small school so was one of the taller girls, and classmates and teachers commented on it; I graduated high school thinking I was an Amazonian freak. (Imagine my surprise, and delight, to find three girls taller than me on my hall in college alone.)

Society constantly illustrates (through media, ads, etc.) that women should be dainty and feminine and smaller than their boyfriends; being too tall or big is seen as “masculine” or unappealing. Smaller women are so sought-after that there’s a massive subsection of porn dedicated just to “petites”; the same doesn’t exist for tall women. When I was on Tinder, many men’s profiles had comments like “no girls taller than 5’4″” or “no giraffes”; women aren’t the only ones writing height requirements in their bios. The “adorable short girl standing on her tippy-toes to kiss her tall hunk of a boyfriend” is a very common narrative in media.

All of this to say – growing up as a tall girl, I felt (ironically) “less-than,” and frequently found myself wishing I could shrink myself down. Like with most body-image issues, it took growing up to realize that all of the nonsense I’d internalized was just that – nonsense. Tall women can be adorable and strong and beautiful, just as can petite women, and height is nothing more than a tickmark on the wall. And having dated men as tall as 6’5,” my current boyfriend is 5’6,” and I couldn’t be happier. (And, unlike some insecure exes, he loves when I wear heels!)

Love reading all these comments as a 5’9″ girl! My now boyfriend is 6’4″, but before we started dating I usually would be interested in guys around my height or just a little taller, height was never a huge factor for me when dating. I started dating my boyfriend for the other reasons – he is so kind, a great friend, makes me laugh and is very secure in himself and our relationship. I have to say though it makes me laugh watching him move through the world because everything is too small for him – including my couch and my bed!! And airport bathrooms. Haha

I never really cared but have ended up with my own personal giant (6’5″). I had never dated a super tall person before and it took some adjustments because being that tall is somewhat impractical. When I bought a new car we had to nix some because he didn’t fit!

I am 5’6″ my husband is 6 feet. I never feel shorter than him until I see a photo of us standing together or a reflection of us in a mirror or glass. I am surprised every single time I see us (even after 32 years} at the disparity in our heights.

It’s weird/sad to me that any woman would worry about being taller than their partner these days. Surely the expectation that women be child-like (shorter, smaller, more naive) has reached its expiration date. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being attracted to taller people, but surely part of this idea of what feels “right” is based on outdated gender norms.
I personally am very tall and have a shorter husband. I rarely wear heels, not because they would make me even taller but because for me they are another symbol of female oppression, a way to make women appear weaker (literally unable to run away). Also, it’s hard for me to believe they are actually more comfortable than flats, though I do like a kitten heel from time to time. Again, it’s ok to enjoy wearing them and enjoy the way they look or make you look, just please don’t chose your shoes based on what other people might perceive about your femininity.

I am 5’11” tall. Growing up a lot of value was placed on proper appearances including finding a nice, tall guy with all of the perfect credentials. Now as I approach my 50s and with a little wisdom in my pocket I wince just a little when I hear a person discount a potential partner based solely on height. In my 20’s I tried marrying the tall guy who appeared perfect in theory and that was an epic disaster. Yesterday, I celebrated my 13th wedding anniversary with my second husband who is 5’9″ and everyday I am thankful that I did not discount him because he is shorter than me. I learned from my first marriage that aesthetics really do not mean a lot in the long term. Yes, you have to be attracted to your partner but we all get older, sometimes heavier, and sometimes things happen and you just may not always look the same. Aesthetics really start to take a backseat when the serious things in life happen. My husband may be shorter than me (and in many other ways on paper we make no sense at all) but he is my ride or die. Height made no difference during what I now call “my bad health year” as he was kissing my face after I threw up three times in the hospital and took care for me after 4 surgeries in 9 months. It has made no difference as he has literally followed me all over the country for my career. And I have never thought about our height difference as we have had some of the best belly laugh moments of my life. Frankly, the only time I even consider our difference height is when I quickly slip out of my heels when we take a picture just so I can press my cheek right up against his.

Lol my husband Neil is shorter, & much thinner than I am plus I’m a Mi’kmaq and he’s caucasian. We’ve heard many disparaging comments over the years but now when people talk they just mention what an awesome husband I have and they tell him how lucky he is to have married me;) I can’t hide my height 5ft 10″ or my weight so I just do what I like in terms of high heels and clothing.

Because I’m 5ft 1 I would never date someone shorter! Who would reach the top shelf for me?!
Luckily almost everyone is taller than me haha

I’m 5’7 and my boyfriend is 5’8 and I love our heights so much! It makes holding his hand and stealing a kiss while walking so much easier.