Have a Great Weekend.

ok

Thank you for this

Me too! I’m going to be 44 this year – so it’s somewhat on my radar. I don’t know very much about it!

YES! I’d love more educational sharing and conversation about menopause. Why are we not taught about this openly throughout life? I’m digging through my own research now as peri-menopause is upon me and I crave a sit down chat with ladies of all ages for enlightened conversation and wisdom sharing about this initiatory stage that’s come faster than I imagined.

Yes. I will be 49 in a month. Experiencing some minor peri-menopause symptoms for the last couple of years. I expect things to only get worse. But no one wants to talk about it. Not even my OBGYN, when I mentioned it. I’m still too “young” according to him.
He wouldn’t even check my hormone levels. I’ve since found a new doctor. But was too afraid to mention it to her. Guess it is one of the last taboo topics. I really want to hear from others going through the beginning stages as well. Is what I’m experiencing normal? Not normal? So many questions.

Yes to this!

Whaaaaaaaaaat!!?

Hopeful,
I am thinking about you and wishing you luck. I’m about to start IVF as well and would love to hear tips from this beautiful community. xo.

I can’t speak to the IVF journey, but I identify so much with “the cycles of hope and despair” so much. It took my husband and I a long time to get pregnant and my labs weren’t fantastic. I honestly was starting to feel like I’d never get pregnant. The journey towards parenthood can be so incredibly difficult, I spent months crying on the floor when my period started.

Until one day it didn’t. I’m due in less than two months, and I just want to say that while you’re on the road towards pregnancy, the idea of getting pregnant can feel SO far away, but when you do get pregnant, all of a sudden you’ll be seven months along and be shocked at how fast your life went from “will it ever happen to me?” to “how am I this far along already?”

Never lose that hope and I hope IVF gets you your success story sooner rather than later.

Sorry for the few errors in my response! Jo, I’ve noticed for the last few weeks I can’t scroll in my comment to reread and fix anything. Not sure if it’s a “me” issue or a problem for more readers!

Blessing to you on your journey. We went through two round of IVF. Thankful for our little girl. It is so hard. Know you’re not alone. <3

Hi Hopeful,

I’m starting the process next month as well, so I am here for all the posts about it! Wishing you all the luck with your IVF!!

Dear Hopeful, I also felt really alone during IVF because none of my friends experienced infertility and although well-meaning, couldn’t imagine the monthly hope/despair cycle over years and years. After about 6 years of trying we did 2 years of IVF. I coped with the physical demands waaaay better than I expected and felt super pro at injections, vaginal insertions, vaginal scans, constant blood tests, etc. My favourite part of IVF was seeing the embryo implanted – on the ultrasound you see this little spark of light in the uterus and it is absolutely magical! I loved that moment. Unfortunately, the despair part was too much after two pregnancy losses and I chose not to continue with IVF. But I don’t regret the process. So, even if the cycles don’t work, know that you are brave and strong to have done this, to be doing this.

The thing that helped me the most was seeing a counsellor/therapist but NOT through the IVF clinic. After a few sessions with the clinic counsellor I felt like they were only allowing me to concentrate on the hope part, but I needed help to process the despair and anxiety during each round and transfer, especially while grieving pregnancy loss. I also became pretty selective about who I told because there can be an idea that IVF always works and the enthusiasm and excitement of friends and family is super lovely but then when I told people a transfer didn’t work or there was a pregnancy loss, there was a lot of silence which stung. To get to this point, you’ve already been through so much. So this is really a lot of words from me to say, I really, really hope that IVF works for you.

A last note: It’s easy to develop a fraught relationship with your body during infertility and IVF – frustration and shame, weird side effects from the medication, obsessive monitoring of potential pregnancy signs – and at various times I went through a no-sugar phase, an indulge-every-craving phase, a yoga phase to ~relax~ (lol), things that were *fine* but I was doing them with the sole intention to get pregnant. When that didn’t happen, it seemed like the reason must lie somewhere within my body (which wasn’t the case). So, if you can, care for your body not only for what it could hopefully be (my fingers are crossed!), but also because it is yours. Sending you a big hug xx

I’m 18months into the IVF trenches- 3 egg retrievals and heading into the frozen embryo phase- and I find all of it exhausting, terrifying (physically, financially and emotionally), confusing and just riddled with unknowns! While I’m apparently the world’s lousiest salesperson for IVF, it is kind of incredible that we get the chance to try to create a baby this way. Knowing no one else who has gone through it, I’ve found the folks on the Infertility subreddit to be amazing in their wealth of information and support. And depending on where you’re at in the process, I’ve found it helpful to get all spreadsheet-happy to track visits and lab results and medication etc as it can be useful for figuring out next steps should you need more than one round- you can see patterns and advocate better for yourself re. protocols, if you want second opinions you have all your info handy etc. Staying busy with other things, having things like a trip to look forward to, and taking it one little step at a time are key for me keeping my head above water too!

I just went to a book launch for this book: Big Fat Negative: The Essential Guide to Infertility, IVF and the Trials of Trying for a Baby by
Emma Haslett & Gabby Griffith
The Excerpts I heard were so touching and funny and brave, it may be useful to you? They also have a podcast with the same name. Sending you strength for your journey x

WOW!! That’s so amazing. Who knew? You did…thanx.

Kris, your deep cynicism may make you feel safer – other supreme court judges aren’t qualified? KBJ is just like other politicians?– but cynicism prevents one from being truly able to see another’s humanity, to connect with people and situations, to create change.

I found the linked article in the Nation to be moving and incisive. KBJ can’t give an answer “regardless of race, gender, sex, or creed” because she was being questioned, and laid traps, based ON her race and sex.

Who we have on the Supreme Court makes an enormous difference in the day to day lives of all Americans. Find some causes you can get behind, some people you find smart and honest, and work to get them ahead in the world. Being cynical about the big issues in our world hurts others and yourself.

Wow, this comment is everything! What an informative and thoughtful analysis! Food for thought! I was cringing FOR her when Cory Booker went on his you could be my mother/sister/auntie enthusiastic I’m one of you rant. It felt so disingenuous to me and yes so pandering. Ugh. I think, yes, she knows how to play the game, thank God, let her get in and shift the paradigm!

She isn’t a politician. She is a judge.

Did you know that most Supreme Court justices were never subjected to confirmation hearings? That was a practice put into place when the first Jewish justice was nominated. We should get rid of these hearings. They don’t screen out candidates who are actually problematic and they are toxic.

And there’s a difference between a politic answer and a political one. As a lawyer, I understand why she answered as she did. That’s how we prep people to answer in depositions, which this essentially is. The objective of this questioning wasn’t truth, it was entrapment.

@Rae i don’t feel cynical, i feel like i’m trying my best to keep my eyes open, i think humanity can do better, that’s how much faith i have in us. think it might actually be the opposite of cynical if i have hope that the structure *can* change.

@Tovah , judges can be political and often are, because they’re human. that’s what i mean by the term politician. it’s easy to start bending the truth a little bit here and there…

@Sue, I guess we shall see what unfolds!

@Elisabeth Egan W. , well I at least agree with the part that we should at least stop televising these depositions. I’m all for transparency but the way things are it seems like it’s incentivizing ridiculous questions and answers and monologues for sound bites.

Kris, you think you have your eyes “wide open”?: “She’s just like the other politicians, perhaps that is its own subversive version of progress.” “victim of the oligarchy” “beware of ad hominem attacks of the ‘other side'” “buying into tribalism,” “identity is a red herring.” This is not eyes wide open this is you straining to disavow racism and sexism when it is right there plain to see. To imply that it’s all a political game, who benefits from this perspective? Yet you say you want “structural change”? You are pushing back against those who do actually represent change (like KBJ). A Black woman in a position of power and authority IS change, yet you want to deny this in favor of some kind of vague “humanity can do better” position. I will never cease being amazed (and frankly disgusted) at those who think giving voice to the historically marginalized is “pandering.” Just a “show,” right? 100% agree with Rae that this is cynical (and more). Pfft.

I had to cancel some exciting plans for the weekend and remembering that I have season 2 to watch (hopefully from a hot bath) has made me feel ten times better.

I feel nothing whatsoever about ants having a smell- I can smell them myself! But the thought that centipedes have a smell makes me want to fling my phone away and run FOREVER.