*Types “Wears multiple hats” on resume.*
We’re thrilled to start sharing some comics by the hilarious Rachel Deutsch, who loves exploring the absurdities, pain, and joys of parenthood. Her creative work has appeared in The New Yorker and McSweeney’s. She lives in Montreal with her partner and two children. Welcome, Rachel!
P.S. Mom phrases and perks of aging.
My 15 mo will do gymnastics to avoid having his nose wiped so he can wipe it across my shirt himself.
Don’t forget Doorman and Pack Mule.
My freshly-minted 19-year-old spent the summer as a camp counselor. When he got home, I could not stop babying him. I laid out his pajamas for after his shower, and when I slipped a chocolate bar (the strawberry-filled Choceur from Aldi–SO GOOD!) under the remote control for him, he hugged me for so long that *I* tried to let him go three times before he was done hugging. It restored my mama battery for the next ten thousand miles of this roller coaster ride. xox
Ooooh, laughing out loud. Even though I am a grandmother now, these descriptions still apply: snuggler, cheerleader comforter, sounding board, collectors of ‘treasures’, human kleenex, etc. Love these illustrations. Sent them to DIL this morning.
Once, a moment of frustration, after being asked for the 17th snack plate in one day, I snapped to my kids “I’m not your butler!” Ever since, any time I ask for the slightest help, guess what their response is? I guess I know where they inherited their snark from.
Can 100% relate. I feel like my sometimes annoyance with my two little kids serves an important purpose… the feeling of irritation protects me from the tender pain of loving them so hard… the heart exploding devastation of their daily sweetness. It’s a glove for the grip they have upon my heart.
This really resonates with me, MJ! Otherwise, I would not be able to take my love for them!
I was standing at the ironing board one day pressing the wrinkles out of a batman costume and listening to a child yell from the other room that he needed a snack. It suddenly dawned on me that I was Alfred.
I snorted! Hahaha
Hit the nail on the head!
Recently my 6 year old described me as “a warm comfy pillow”, her favorite spot to lay is on top of me haha
Ha! Always a Kleenex, often a thermometer. Perfect.
I resigned from my job in late May, with a plan to spend the summer with my children before launching a new business in the fall. (Super exciting! Super scary!). Early in the summer, my 8yo declared one day: “Mom! You’re our butler!” …. “Um, yep.” Just had to embrace that and laugh about it (even while trying to pump myself up to think I can be an entrepreneur.)
I’m also a screaming pillow. Just right into my face, kiddo.
I don’t remember applying for that one but the door on the office has my name on it.
All accurate except for the horse, Im usually a unicorn.
This is great, and I’m going to leave my absolute favorite song about this subject right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZHfTbzl4tI
My brain isn’t functional enough to think of something funny, but whatever you would call the job that eats up the leftovers off kids’ plates and calls it “lunch.”
Hahah! I remember those days.
Human compost pail haha
This makes me think of my dad’s favorite poem. He tears up every time he reads it (often while gazing adoringly at my mom), and since becoming a mother myself I do too: https://www.wenaus.com/poetry/not-on-resume.html
That’s a beautiful poem, Hanna. Thank you for sharing.
Also garbage can, tutor, chef, bidet, personal shopper… *sigh*!
hahahaha yes to garbage can! did you ever see this mcsweeney’s spoof? made me lol:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/yes-i-would-be-positively-delighted-to-throw-away-your-trash
Lolllll to bidet. It’s all so real.
This is our first week back to school and my five year old has had multiple breakdowns. There were at least four on the first day. She loves kindergarten, but it’s a big change. I don’t remember my oldest one going through this. I’m not really great with emotions that don’t have a ‘reason’, so this has been one of the hardest tests of my patience. I’m pretty proud of myself. It’s actually easy if you just stop what you’re doing and let her cry for five minutes.
Katie- we have that same situation at the start of the school year over here. It is so hard for the littles to control their emotions and behaviours all day at school that by the time they come home and are in their safe space they basically just barf those emotions all over us. It means she feels safe in her house… so there is that good side to it 😊
I found this article super helpful!…
Its a lot to take in for a kiddo. They are excited and hungry and tired all in one.
I youngest is 17 and he’s a smart one and feels all these.
My mother in law said it took about a week for things to feel normal. That was in relation to beginning school, summer starting, starting a new job. Hope that makes you feel better. I am always a bit off as a mother for a week, too. I want my children to feel well. I feel all the emotions with them.
Might it be after school restraint collapse? Good luck to both of you!
Awww. We dropped my oldest for her first year at college last weekend and she has had multiple (FaceTime) breakdowns. I also am not great with emotion w/o reason and so just sit with her, letting her cry, and remind her that for her “transitions are difficult.” Good luck to both of you!
MEGAN! I doubt you come back to the comments to see if anyone said anything back to you, but THANK YOU for sharing that article. My newly-first-grader-6-year-old has had SUCH a hard time and I’ve been really struggling with her. There has been a lot of tears from both of us and I couldn’t figure it out. She has been loving school so it didn’t make sense that she was acting out because of school. It now seems obvious but I really need to hear that, so THANK YOU again.
Deity – ha!
Funny comics as always Rachel! It made me smile, thanks for entertaining society!
So painfully accurate!! Horse. I am a horse.
Omg this is so true! Love it
Love your art Rachel!
Human kleenex! Yes. Classic. I’ve got an 8mo daughter, and I am always using my clothes to catch/clean up baby bodily fluids. Love being a cuddler, but really, I’m a kleenex most often.
"I have ALWAYS wanted to live alone," says Kara.
They are literally the most fun parties of all time.
#3 is my favorite.
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