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Whenever we write about friendship — making new ones, maintaining old ones — the comment section not only explodes with wisdom, readers often make connections, too. So, next up in our best reader comments series, we’re happy to share 12 smart thoughts on being buddies…
On trying new things:
“As the parent of four young kids, I was really craving adult time. So, I recently joined an all-women drum line. It has been amazing. I love playing the drums, but being in the company of such strong, kind women has been transformative. They’re all ages and backgrounds, which makes it even more interesting. It was exactly what I needed without even knowing it.” — Cecile
On Whole Foods, it’s a thing:
“Every Sunday, my sister and I get groceries together at Whole Foods. We try the samples, debate recipe ideas, check out their makeup section and usually grab one sweet treat to split afterward. It actually makes me enjoy grocery shopping, and I love knowing we have a recurring, scheduled date to catch up on things during busy weeks.” — Elizabeth
On wine time:
“Inspired by my grandmother — who was known to take sherry, instead of coffee, in her travel mug — a friend and I began a tradition of going on ‘wine walks.’ We would just grab a bottle of wine, pour it in a to-go coffee mug or thermos, and set out around the neighborhood. It’s like happy hour, but cheaper and happier.” — Kelley
“I began a tradition of grabbing a solo drink at a neighborhood bar after work. At first I was nervous, but before I knew it, all the faces were familiar, and I’ve made very good friends. We come from different ethnic, economic and career backgrounds, which has added so much to my life. It also gave me the courage to travel alone, checking London and Belize off my list in the last month.” — Laura
On introverted bonding:
“My friend and I are both very introverted. We wanted to spend time together, but were going through busy times in our lives and felt socially exhausted. So, we instituted reading days, where we’d sit in companionable silence for a couple hours while we read whatever book was on our list. It was nice not feeling obligated to talk — sometimes you just want to be together.” — Abby
On meeting friends:
“I once walked into a store, and the salesgirl had just moved to Chicago and was so cool. I asked her if we could grab dinner sometime. Fast forward to years later, I was the maid of honor in her wedding! I wouldn’t have met her if I hadn’t just asked if she wanted to hang out.” — Caitlyn
“After moving to Omaha, I struggled to make friends. On a whim, one Saturday night, I responded to a platonic Craigslist ad from a women who had dogs (love dogs), did yoga (me, too!), and liked clean eating (I’m in). We hit it off and almost four years later, we’re still friends. We’re even done a cross country road trip and are planning to go to Scotland this year. Making friends is hard, but when you meet a good one, it’s so worth it.” — Julie
“When I moved back to Denver, a Meetup group saved my life. It’s called The Nerdy 30’s, which immediately told me I’d found not only my age group but also my people. Our events range from dinner parties to book clubs to afternoon hikes to museum adventures to crafting parties. If I ever have to move again, I’m starting a new chapter because it has given me some of the greatest friends I could have asked for.” — Lindsey
On making plans RIGHT NOW:
“Sometimes the best way to get friends to hang is to call them up and suggest doing something RIGHT NOW rather than try to schedule anything. It works, and I kind of love it.” — Sadie
On meaningful hangouts:
“A wonderful female friend hosts a monthly gathering of women. Everyone brings food, and after some eating and settling in, one woman tells her story (whatever ‘her story’ may be). It’s a bit like The Moth, I suppose, and it creates a wonderful sense of community around storytelling and listening. It’s intimate, hilarious, and refreshingly judgement-free.” — Anastasia
“After the election, our group of girlfriends decided that we wanted to regularly give back. So far, we’ve spent a day restoring a trail in a national park, purchased and assembled backpacks and school supplies, and are working on putting together meals for families that have experienced trauma. It’s a great way to see your friends AND do something for others.” — Laura
On phone calls:
“My friends and I no longer all live in the same city, and it can feel hard to find time for heart-to-hearts on the phone. So, we made the decision to just answer the phone and say what you can. Five minutes is better than nothing at all, and it can mean so much just to hear a dear friend’s voice. There are times when you just sit in the parking lot of the grocery store and listen, and that’s fine.” — Lisa
What advice would you add?
P.S. How to make friends as adult, and the best reader comments of all time. Plus, an articles club!
(Photo from Insecure.)
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