How Are You Today?

It has been 7 days since we have had to evacuate the mountains of Santa Cruz due to the CZU Lightning Complex fires. We have watched thousands of acres burn including redwoods that were 2,000 years old. Thousands of families are displaced with a glimmer of hope that our home will be standing upon our return. Through it all, I can say that I am so incredibly grateful for this community, our mountain community for staying in touch with updates, our home team firefighters and ALL the teams of firefighters that have come to our rescue. Thank you CupofJo writers and readers for being here.

I’ve been taking Nia Dance classes online through my regular in-person instructor. They are saving me at moment. Sometimes I cry (hysterically during one class), sometimes I am joyful, and everything in between while dancing. It really moves emotions, and it’s so healing to feel all of it and let it out. Afterwards, everyone holds their pets up to their computers to say hello, so there’s been happy tears as well. Sending love out to everyone. Here’s to hoping this brings about change where it is needed.

I’m feeling really plagued by comparative suffering right now. As in, how can I be angry that my employer has an extremely low tolerance for me working from home, when there are millions of others whose employers had to furlough or terminate them? I’m attempting to keep perspective, I am really grateful that I’m still being paid, and I do have a great deal of empathy for others, but… why must I also feel like my distress or pain is less important? Can there be no empathy for all? I don’t want to be selfish or “tone deaf” as it’s popularly assigned these days, but… I also don’t want to stuff or swallow my pain as though it doesn’t matter at all. I don’t want my pain to be ranked or stacked up against others’. Who decided there’s a scale to determine whose pain is worse, and at what arbitrary point on the scale is it acceptable to express pain and be rewarded with empathy? I’m not selfish. I’m not without empathy for others. I just want to feel my feelings, too, and not feel guilty about that!

Is it ok to be really angry? Like furious?
I’m angry at the Chinese government for not regulating the sale of wild animals!
I’m angry at all of us who fly all over the world for meetings that mostly could happen remotely but we need to spend our companies money so that they can pay less tax to governments who therefore have weak public health systems.
I’m angry that this leads to the spread of this disease to this my country South Africa. I’m so angry for all the immune compromised people (high rates of HIV and TB) who are going to suffer. I’m angry for the elderly who are the careers of our children and enable our youthful population to work. They have lived such difficult lives under apartheid and now must die alone in falling apart hospitals to this disease which has spread from a global network they have not been able to reap any real benefits from. I’m proud of our president who instituted a lockdown before any deaths as the infection rate rapidly rises, but still will not be able to prevent the thousands hopefully not millions of deaths to come from Covid19, the collapse of the health system and even deeper economic crisis. I’m angry at myself cushioned at home with my one year old not out there helping in some way, any way. I’m furious at the global politicians who are already trying to hoard medicines for their own populations.
But mostly I’m completely heartbroken that a country ravaged by colonialism and apartheid on its knees and try so damn hard to stand, will now be felled onto its face in the mud because of a global system that ensures that we can continually feel the brunt of the crises but never fully benefit from the economic system that enabled it…

i’m great. really really great.
i met the boy of my dreams the saturday before the world shut down, and we have been using this time to quarantine together, play board games by the fireplace, cook each other our favorite foods, and we even took a road trip last weekend to a national park!
it will be weird to date in the “real world” once this is over, but i’m loving every second of it in this unreal current situation.

Amen from Indiana. I love this so much I screenshot it. We’ve got to change. This was our wake up call.

We can’t go back, I won’t go back.

Two thirds … yes, 2/3 of ALL the cases of Covid-19 in Western Australia are directly from CRUIZE SHIPS!!!
This makes me very frustrated and somewhat angry.
Floating germ factories that insist on docking at our ports when there are NO Australians on board!?! They should have ‘steamed’ directly to their home port (e.g. Germany).
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. ?

I was unemployed and job hunting before this started and while I’m grateful to be healthy and safe, I’m worried about what this means for my future. I was already anxious about finding a job before this. I’m meditating daily and reminding myself that there are bigger issues at the moment and that everything will work out somehow or the other. Grateful for invaluable time with my family right now.

I was OK at first but now the loneliness is starting really to sink in. My husband is a physician working directly with COVID-19 patients. Meanwhile, I’m at home, 17 weeks pregnant, with our two-year-old. My husband has been self-quarantining for the safety of our family. For us, that means he sleeps in the guestroom and uses as a separate bathroom. He is also careful not to touch me or our son. I crave physical touch from my husband and I have no idea when that will be again. Some more parenting help would be nice too ;). I am proud of him but I’m feeling very cut off in all of this. For now I’ll just have to settle for cuddles from my sweet little boy. It’s a lot of work but I’m not sure what I would do without him.

Thank you for this lovely post… This is a scary time, but there’s such humanity and authenticity in these moments, too.

Would you consider doing a self-isolation series from around the world? Perhaps something like you’ve done with the “Motherhood Around the World” series…

A suggestion for how to show kindness and appreciation during this time: buy a gift card when you go to the grocery and give it to your cashier after checking out (and one to the person who bags your groceries too). They most certainly didn’t sign up for this and aren’t paid nearly enough for the service they are currently providing. Any way we can show love and gratitude helps not just the other person but us too. The more love I am able to show others, the less fear exists inside me.

I am feeling lost. In December I started a language class at the university and met a Syrian man who took my breath away. I am married with 2 kids and in the 11 years I’ve been with my husband, I have been completely faithful. I followed my heart and ended up falling deeply in love which eventually turned into physical love. Prior to the lockdown, we were seeing each other daily but are now separated. I’m at home with my husband 24/7 and I’m heart-broken. Because I’m missing my love intensely and because my feelings for my husband have changed so drastically that I have no idea what will happen between us. What a strange, beautiful, heart-wrenching and unexpected situation I find myself in.

I’m feeling overwhelmed and scared. And also deeply sad. I’m currently 8 months pregnant and we’re closing on a house today (a process started before the world blew up) and I wish I could be feeling the joy of this moment, but my brain is stuck on the dread.

I keep going back to what will happen if I have to give birth (first baby) without my husband at the hospital? Once baby’s here, will we live in even greater fear that ever cough and sniffle is COVID19?

I’m trying to remind myself that we’re doing everything we can right now. That we’re taking precautions and living in a state where the governor has been very proactive in his approach to management. Self soothing by eating mostly comfort food and only watching TV that never gets too intense (more recommendations welcome!).

I hope you all are staying strong and healthy, wherever you are. We’ll get through this eventually.

Here in Indiana we’ve been isolating for a while now, it’s still winter we had a beautiful snow storm yesterday, probably the last one of the season and somehow it felt like a glittery gift. The dad next-door went outside and made an incredible snowman, the main character from Frozen, it was so amazing I took a lot of photos and sent them to everyone. I’ve spent the last year and a half recovering from a couple of serious eye surgeries and I’ve had to isolate a few times already so I’ve already cleaned out all my closets and re-organized and darned socks and read all the books I wanted to read but never had time for. Like the entire Donna Leon series! In order. So I’ve gotten pretty good at self isolating, I just made 10 quarts of soup for my niece in law who’s going to have a baby this weekend we’re all worried for her it’s her first baby, it is breach and there are cases in our town and at our hospital. I feel bad she can’t just focus on the joy of becoming a mother for the first time. Maybe the onesie I got her that has a rooster on it will make her laugh. A fun thing we’re doing in my neighborhood. We are making hearts out of everything from old calendars, construction paper, to hand colored masterpieces by little kids and putting them on our front doors for the nurses, doctors, all the healthcare professionals who work long hours, in the hopes that when they drive home from a terribly long shift they might see that everyone in the neighborhood appreciates them. It would be really sweet on my once a week run to the grocery store to see hearts on everyone’s front door. The kindergartner across the street ran with the idea, he colored a dozen hearts for everybody and distributed them at front doors. So sweet, it made my day. P.s. New York, we feel your pain. Be strong.

Hi, Joanna. Stay safe. Americans can get through this.

I enjoy reading people’s comments and find inspiration in many. I myself am doing ok. I have anxiety and depression so this whole thing is not easy but I am fortunate to have a job that I can still go in for (property management) and to have family including a husband around.

Work is dead and it is times like this when my anxiety goes crazy (because of boredom). On Monday my hypochondria literally convinced myself I had terminal breast cancer when all it was an infected hair follicle that had swollen to a lump because I kept touching it. I lost sleep and was crying nonstop and my husband stayed up with me till midnight. It sounds so nutty now….ugh…but when my mind is idle crazy things can happen!

I am trying to force myself to stay busy to combat this. Reading these comments helps, coloring, writing, talking with my husband on skype. There are only two of us in the office right now and I am so happy that we are like friends and get along so well. IT is nice to have that during all this isolation.

Well as for eating: frozen personal pizzas. I am normally very health conscious but gave myself a little pass during this time as its hard to find certain groceries right now. I also usually work out but stopped for now.

Hmm I live in a house in the hills of a suburban town and can see turkeys walking on the hill in front and pine trees. I love it. I watch the sunset from my bedroom window or on my upstairs balcony.

thank you for having this space to just vent! I love reading about how people are doing and send my love to everyone.

I’m having good days and bad days right now. My heart goes out to those on the front lines of this battle — doctors, nurses, and even grocery store employees. I feel so awful for families who have been affected by this illness already.

Right now, I’m feeling scared. I work for a major museum, which will have several rounds of layoffs if this (absolutely necessary) social distancing continues for a long period of time. I just made it through the first round of layoffs, but realistically, I’m looking at losing my job in a couple months. I’m watching it come on slow motion, this end to my career here that I’ve worked so hard for.

I also have a two-month old. I’m adjusting to life as a mother, and I’m unable to get help from my at-risk parents or from anyone outside of my husband at the moment. I’ve been hearing infants are now considered at risk of complications from Covid-19, so, now in addition to worrying over my at-risk parents and elderly grandma, I’m so frightened for my daughter.

I’m a nurse in the UK, so the effect of the lockdown hasn’t quite hit me yet because life has continued just the same inside the hospital! It’d actually nice for me to still have that normality, even though you’re putting yourself at risk. I work in a leading NICU and as from yesterday, only one parent is allowed per day which much be so so hard! I’m just taking each day as it comes! Xx

I live in LA and have felt a major shift in my perspective over the past few weeks. It’s very easy to get caught up in the fast and busy life here, which I love – and I don’t want to make this sound like I’m enjoying the fact that there’s a pandemic outside – but this has really brought a new meaning of ‘gratitude’ for me. I’m extremely lucky to have a boyfriend of just over a year who feels like he was made for me, and grateful to be quarantined together. We’ve taken this very seriously since the beginning of March, started preparing then, and have barely left his apartment since March 13. I’m extremely grateful for my health, the health of my family, and grateful to live in a state that has also taken this seriously from fairly early on. I’m grateful to work in ecommerce and be able to work from home, at least as long as our US fulfillment center is operating. 

All this said, my heart hurts for those on the front lines and I want to do more for those affected. I’ve been researching ways to go about donating and helping those in need, but would love any recommendations from this community as well xx

I found out I am pregnant (for the first time!) in the end of February, right before the pandemic really started affecting NYC (where I live). So I’m hormonal, sad, scared, and angry. I’m sad and terrified for what I think is going to be a tragic world-flipping 18 months or more. I’m angry that we have the dumbest human on earth in charge, making terrible decisions and lying to the country. I’m worried they don’t know enough about how this virus could affect an embryo and that I am statistically going to get it.

And selfishly, I hate that this moment of my life that was supposed to be about celebration and nesting and excitement has turned into this. I crave random foods and my husband can’t go get them for me – a silly trope we were looking forward to fulfilling. I dread telling my family because it’s just going to make them so scared for me and this baby. My first prenatal appointment was postponed two weeks and my husband will not be allowed to be there. As of now, women have to give birth ALONE in NYC hospitals, without any support person. Will that be me in 8 months?

I feel terribly isolated and scared for the world this baby might be born into, and I hate that there’s nobody who is NOT in this madness that I can vent to because everyone is exhausted and scared.

Thank you for asking. :-(

It’s an emotional rollercoaster, I’ve found pretty much every day I feel really different.
Have been working from home and socially distancing for a week now in UK, yesterday was the first day of “lockdown” here where you’re allowed to leave only for food, to exercise once a day, or to go to work (thought should only be the “key workers”). I went for a walk at 6 and it was so so depressing just watching everyone wander round aimlessly, and it was stressful constantly having to dodge people to be 2m apart and I went home after 10 mins and burst into tears as it hit me what this means.
But today we got out for a run early in the morning, glorious spring weather and far fewer people to dodge and I was in much better spirits. And I volunteered with the local council (government) to make up food parcels for vulnerable people at the weekend so I’m actually really looking forward to that as something to DO and to feel purposeful.

Thanks for the check-in, Jo!
I am staying with my parents in Indiana, and we’ve been getting really into watching all the birds in our backyard. It’s so therapeutic to watch them going about their day, eating, coming back up from the South for spring – going about their life, oblivious to the chaos in our world.
Yesterday we saw a male and female bluebird, and my mom and I watched them for about 20 minutes as the male checked out 3 of my mom’s bluebird houses.

I’m about to start the book for the Cup of Jo bookclub (sadly all libraries are totally depleted, and my hometown’s library only has the physical copy – but of course they are closed).

I would LOVE a consolidated post about board games – I know you’ve mentioned some here and there on the weekly wrap-up posts but I have no idea which posts those were and our family could use some new game ideas.

Crazy situation in NYC – keep hearing about how crowded parks are which is not helping… sending hugs to everyone xx

I’m a new mom to a one month old so we were already basically self-quarantined for three weeks before everyone else. Just when I felt a bit more comfortable venturing back out into the world, everyone else starting quarantining. At times I feel lonely but I’m never actually alone. I’m a bit sad and lonely at the thought of not being able to attend new mom groups in person.

My husband’s in grad school and ironically, we were supposed to fly to New York City today for the final interview of a job he’s really excited about. We got the tickets several weeks ago before everything blew up and NYC became an epicenter of the virus in the states. I’ve had a calendar reminder set on my phone for it, and it has been a little sad to get dings from my phone this week saying, “New York trip in two days, 9am,” “New York trip today, 9am,” etc. Thankfully the company is having my husband complete his final interview online instead, but now there’s the anxiety of the economy crashing. It’s a small company—what if they decide not to hire in the end? What if they go under? I remember being a teenager and seeing all these young adults fresh out of college and struggling to get jobs due to the recession. I never thought I’d find myself in a similar situation: my husband graduating and finally ready to get a “big kid” job and settle down right on the cusp of a global economic disaster.

So, I’m nervous. But at the same time, I know that everything’s going to be okay in the end.

I live in a rural town in the west. We’ve been home since March 16th, but it feels so much longer! My family includes one 68 and one 86 year old, so we’ve been taking this seriously since the beginning. It’s frustrating to see people acting irresponsibly knowing the risk for our citizens at large and my family in particular. We are doing well because we have fresh air and plenty of open space for long walks and hikes (if it would stop snowing every day or two!) But so many uncertainties on my mind. We own a small business, but it was hit hard in 2008 and barely survived. I can’t imagine if we’ll be able to make it thru this. We’re not ‘essential’ so we’re closed right now. We are just lucky to have some savings, but unemployment is not an option unless our Governor declares a state of emergency. Honestly the Federal Program of payments would be a tremendous help to us. Fingers crossed.
I feel so strongly the desire to bake and cook comfort food for my family, but we started a Whole 30 just before this, and so I can’t! Such timing! :(