13 Reader Comments on Relaxing

There’s a window by my bed. In mid-afternoon the sun flows in and lights up the foot of the bed. I love to close the bedroom door behind me, grab a audio book or a podcast, and lie upside down on the bed with the sun on my face. That pocket of warmth and almost blinding light hitting my closed eyelids make me feel very solitary. It’s bliss.

My bestie (who happens to live next door) and I have Rose Monday – we take turns bringing a new bottle of crisp icy rose to each other’s decks after sundown and catching up on the happenings of the weekend. It’s an awesome way to kick off the week and enjoy a summer night!

Other must-dos for summer: get up at sunrise on a Sunday and go clamming – it’s SO peaceful! Then make stuffies and share with your favorite people.

Go mini golfing with my love – loser buys dinner.

Invite your friends over for s’mores and a roaring bonfire

Homemade pizza on the grill – extra points for toppings from your own garden!

I love love love to garden, and the best part is clipping fresh bouquets to deliver to my friends as little treats – use recycled mayo and sauce jars as cute leave-behind vases. I swear, sharing makes the blooms come in double next year!

Make a meatloaf like your mom used to, and pack cold meatloaf sandwiches and frosty cokes in a cooler for a day at the beach. Sounds weird, but there is nothing better!

Snow.
I am the “Lorelai Gilmore” to my family and friends….I can smell snow. No, for real. I was taught when I was very young. It’s magic! I wait the whole year long for winter, the holidays and snow. Glorious snow.
The world slows down. Our town becomes quiet. ( and this is in Washington D.C. ! ) Folks dress in warm clothing and go to stores to buy food enough to last them a while. I’m more patient and kind and others feel the same towards me.
The rest of the year I’m waiting and wishing for this time of year.
It gets me through.

I’ve been struggling with insomnia, and my dad–a decades-long insomnia sufferer–just recommended listening to history lectures when I can’t sleep in the middle of the night. I thought of that when I read Erin’s comment!

Last summer I picked up a $7 watercolor kit at a local craft store. I found tutorials online and would paint out on our back porch on the weekends. Not all of them were good, and some were truly bad, but it was more about the doing – the meditative process of blending color and water and finding perfection in the imperfection of it. Then I took one of my favorites, put it in a cheap frame and hung it on the wall.

Having a hot shower in the dark with one candle lit. Just do it. It’s transcendent.

Showering! Even if I put my hair up and just wash my body. Just *being* in the shower is so relaxing. I learned last night from Laura Lynne Jackson’s book, Signs, that showers give our bodies negative ions – which are a good thing! – and are the scientific explanation as to why our energy actually changes and we feel more at peace in the shower (around waterfalls and in forests too!)

I’ve done a few virtual sessions of meditative drawing which has been wonderful. It starts with a short meditation. Then we do some breathing while “drawing” our breaths – either up and down lines or the infinity sign to mimic inhales and exhales. Then we are shown an image and are asked to draw it without looking down at the paper or picking up your pencil – just continuous drawing for short periods of time. It is incredible how relaxing and insightful it is. And it completely forces you to give up control and just be present in the moment.

We close out the session by spending a few minutes writing a continuous note of gratitude to someone. During today’s session, I thanked a writer I’ve never met but who has motivated me to try new experiences, think differently, has made me laugh out loud and cry and generally feel more connected to the world. She is moving out of my area and for some bizarre reason – it is making me feel sad. I guess because I’ve harbored fantasies that I’d run into her in the grocery store sometime and become friends – totally silly I know.

that spaghetti hoops comment = everything.

Naps. Even if I’m not sleeping, laying down for 20 minutes can feel extremely luxurious. Listening to the sounds of the day, having my sweet kitty somewhere near me on the bed, turning off the constant train of thoughts, just being there… gives me a little giggle of pleasure.

Also… being ALONE is relaxing. Something I only realized since this pandemic hit.

Knitting. It’s creative, meditative, relaxing. It connects me to the long line of women makers that came before me and it connects me to millions of knitters around the world. Thank you Jess and Cassidy for creating Ravelry!

I bought an adult paint by number set — of Venice — and it’s so calming and relaxing. It’s my version of knitting. I’ve been painting and listening to Taylor Swift’s Folklore – which is honestly a brilliant album. Those two things together – so relaxing.

This year I’ve gotten really into mountain biking. I grew up in Washington state and did a lot of snowboarding in high school and college, but kids/life took over. When my eldest discovered bmx racing, our family dived into all things bikes. The same peace I felt on a snowboard I feel shredding down a mountain on a bike. I love that I can be with my guys but completely in my own head.

I have struggled with anxiety for nearly a decade, and one of the best self-help books I’ve read (Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind, by Jennifer Shannon) suggests that before you do anything that needs to be done, practice 5 minutes of self care. For me that might mean drinking a big glass of ice water before doing a chore, taking the time to prepare a good snack (peanut butter on a slice of sourdough toast), putting on a pair of comfy socks (Bombas!) or my favorite gold hoop earrings. I’ve been struck by how even these very small acts of self care make me feel more relaxed.

Imma need that hot chocolate recipe real quick here :)

When I was feeling particularly untethered mid-pandemic I rediscovered the joy of taking a bath (to the point where they became a daily source of self care). Since I didn’t have much work on my favourite time to take a bath became late afternoon, right before my partner comes home from work. I fill the tub with bath salts, pop a silly sitcom or rom com onto my tablet, light a candle, pour a cup of tea or alcohol free beer and just lay there. It is bliss.

A couple of weeks ago my partner surprised me with a handmade bath board to put all of my various things on. No more balancing my tablet on the toilet – I didn’t even realise it could get any better but it has. Now it’s summer I also keep the window open slightly and let the cool breeze wash over me. It truly is my happiest place.

Hey! How timely for me–just this morning, my kids and I scrapped our plans and drove straight to the mountains. I kept thinking about something I read (here on CoJ! I think just in the comments, too!) of the Japanese concept of forest bathing, and without being totally certain what it was, we tried to walk extra reverently and breathe extra deeply. All we did was wander, but I left feeling so refreshed. Thanks for planting that seed, relaxy readers!

To the lady eating cheesy spaghetti on toast: you go, girl

Wandering around a nursery is truly magical. A plant one, to be clear.

The Black-women owned company Frigg makes incredible CBD cosmetics & edible supplements, and the packaging is gorgeous. A moment of topical or edible CBD really does feel like an oasis to me.

I also think everyone should have some grounding quotes, poems, photos, songs, art, creative STUFF from other humans. Things you can keep with you or easily access (for real or in memory). It has been so valuable to me to have a few snippets of poetry I love, song lyrics, and melodies from classical music pieces, to basically keep in my pocket and touch whenever I need that talisman. It can be so personal, I don’t want to sway anyone about their choices, but I feel like if you’re open to the idea of collecting them, these things kind of magnetize themselves to you. For me there are some Mary Oliver snippets (of course), some Beethoven and Bach, and both the music and the lyrics to a piece by a group called Roomful of Teeth. I can imagine if someone is more visual than aural, a painting or photo might have a similar effect.

Oh and in a pinch I definitely pull up the website https://unsplash.com/ and search for something like “porch” or “rainforest” and just go for a virtual forest bath.

After a bad day, I love of cup of Tetley tea with milk. The trick is not to scald the tea. Let your kettle stop boiling before you pour the water. On particularly bad days I’ll add a slice of toast with butter. If I’m truly feeling indulgent, I’ll add raspberry jam and sharp cheddar cheese.

I’ve learned to pack some Tetley when I go to Texas to visit my husband’s family. They cannot understand why I want hot tea with milk. I find it hilarious. I grew up in Newfoundland, an old British colony that is now a part of Canada. It how’s my grandmothers and aunts did self care. It feels like home and it’s literally always accessible.

My toddler is obsessed with keys. I was sitting on a bench with my baby in her stroller dangling keys as she giggled. Two little ones passed by with their adult and I overheard their conversation. The younger one asked the older one why the baby liked keys so much. The older one’s reply was incredible: “Because they’re magic. One minute they’re silent and the next they jingle and make music. Anything that makes sounds can be magic.” Mind blown.

omg this sounds perfect :)

My husband finds it “strange” and my sister calls them my “suburban mom car rides,” but during the pandemic the only time I was ever alone was in the car. So I started a ritual, that two nights a week, after getting my son in his pjs, I would leave my husband to do bedtime, fire up my Venza, put on a true crime podcast and drive around the surrounding towns. Although some things have gone back to normal, I’ve been sticking with my ritual. Sometimes a mom needs murder and the wind in her hair.

Swimming – in the evening when the sun goes down, I slowly dip into the cool water and swim, however slowly or clumsily for 45 minutes. No phone, no noise, no distraction. My gym has an outdoor adult-only pool that is pretty empty in the evening. Just me and my breathing. Super-relaxing and I sleep like a baby afterwards. Also, as a Californian, I enjoy the unduly long hot shower afterwards …
Bookstores – wandering the isles at a bookstore. I sometimes buy something, sometimes, the wandering has to suffice. I remember the time (about 20 years ago) when the huge bookstores were around with their long opening times and coffeeshops included. They would let you buy coffee and read a book without buying it first.
Walks – after these past 15 months, I know my boring suburban neighborhood like my pocket. It’s very relaxing to walk without a phone, noticing the birds, roses, any changes that neighbors are making to their yards, chatting the neighbors.