Do or Don’t: Sharing Food at Restaurants

In most restaurants I’ve looked at – “sharing plates” was just a euphemism for overpriced smaller meals; too little food for more money that you’d otherwise spend on something similar somewhere else in a single entree format.

Finally – In today’s world of pandemics and deadly infectious diseases, unless I’m sharing plates with someone I happen to be sharing a bodily fluids with on a regular basis – GET YOUR OWN!

My ex-husband and his family are intense food sharers at dinner in restaurants. I hate it! As the food arrives, suddenly they are all checking everyone else’s plate like hovering birds….”Oh! Can I taste that?” Then forking the best item off my plate. Now we’re in the flying plate phase where they all start scrapping portions of their food onto each others plates. Several plates in the air at the same time. I’m usually ridiculed as being selfish and stingy, making me feel awkward for the remainder of the meal. If you want something…order it! Otherwise leave your plate on the table and your fork on your own plate!!

Ah, my in-laws always want to “get a bunch of plates” when we get Chinese food. Um, no. I want my sweet and sour chicken and pork fried rice, and nothing else, thank you very much!! :-)

I’m fine with sharing apps, but I always want my own entree!

I was reminded of this post last night and had to come back to it. I’m in a group that loves this sharing food too, and I’m Team Alex about it. They call it “trying” something. As in, “Can I try the ___?” Try? Are you going to swirl it around in your mouth and put it back on the plate? Oh, you mean EAT it. Often times people get the plate returned back around to them with only one or even none of the appetizer they themselves ordered! Last night a woman asked if she could “try” my Korean soup/stew of a thing. She quickly dunked in her spoon that I would swear had some food on it. Now if it had food on it, did that mean she had put it in her mouth already? I was thoroughly grossed out and couldn’t eat then.

I have a friend who absolutely refuses to split appetizers, for a different reason: he thinks it’s gross. He hates the idea of multiple hands reaching in to the same plate of food, whether it’s fries, tater tots, nachos, wings, whatever. Yes, there is a fork or spoon and small plates and you can always avail yourself of that option, but there are some people who will still reach in with their hands to pick off a chip or tot (and I’m one of them, because I don’t freak out about it).

It can be a bummer because sometimes I will see an app I have a hankering for at the time, but I don’t order it because my buddy won’t have any of it, and I don’t want all of it. So we end up just getting individual entrees.

Wow! Interesting post! I found this page on accident while searching for something else. I live in the south, and have never been to a restaurant where you’re encouraged to share plates before. I have been out many times with groups of friends, family, coworkers, etc., and sharing has never been mentioned! The closest I can think of is a pizza place, or a family style place where folks just pass food (already prepared—not ordered) around and take what they want (like at the supper table). However, the thought of sharing food on plates like that makes me cringe inside. I think most southerners would agree, as we are pretty protective of our plates lol. I give my own husband the side-eye if he even wants a bite! …I’m with your husband on this one!

Sharing with husband or a couple of girlfriends (3 total- MAX) is fine and even fun. There is usually plenty to go around and if there are a couple of things that I really want to eat, I make sure to order them. But in large groups, there is always a risk that you get little or NONE of what you really want to eat. That’s no fun for anyone!

OMG totally on board with Alex on this one. HATE SPLITTING! Especially with a group!!! It stresses me out! Lol.

One thing my husband, family and beloved friends know about me is I don’t share my food when we go out! No way!

OMG! This is my curmudgeonly husband to a T! Love it :-)

Omg hit the nail on the head!
I hate sharing food! I’d actually prefer to have, lets say 3 artichokes (ordered by myself, served to me only), than 5 artichokes (from a plate of 10 shared with my friend!)
Haha!

What a wonderful post! I loved it.
Thanks lot!!!!

Regards
https://onlinecake.in/

I love sharing food with my husband, but hate sharing food with a table of people … for all the reasons mentioned. I am a VERY slow eater, and also have friends that are very big eaters, so I’d likely be left with very little to eat.

“…I would rather not run my dessert order through Ways and Means.”
LOL!
That summed it up for me. I love to share in theory, but in fact, find it super tedious to discuss the perfect thing we all want, and the amount of back and forth it requires…please, no.

My Husband and I almost never get our own food. He’ll order a large meal and I’ll get a soup, eat a few bits of his steak and we’re both content. However, when it comes to dessert I feel the same as your husband. I want to savor that delicious chocolate gooey goodness, my husband just scarfs it down and if I don’t keep up I don’t get my share. So for me, it definitely depends what you are sharing!

It really depends on the type of food! Chinese and Japanese food should absolutely be shared. Small plates should be shared. A fancier french or italian meal, I tend to order myself and share bites. My college roommate and I had a great tradition, though, where we’d go to a favorite pizza place and split 1 pizza and 1 kale salad. The perfect amount of food and so much fun.

Group sharing, nah. But will he share with YOU, is the question? I can’t imagine being married to someone who won’t give me a bite of their steak, or doesn’t care to try my new favorite dish at a restaurant!

As someone with intense (though self-imposed) food restrictions.. No meat, no spicy things, no mushrooms.. I also often fear the shared plate.. Close friends are incredibly understanding and will go out of their way to order things I can eat but inevitably I either only get some of the three out of eight or so dishes ordered that I can/will eat or I feel like the split bill is incredibly out of proportion since vegetable dishes are almost always cheaper and I only ate a few things!

I love the concept of sharing and but it just doesn’t always work for me and I feel like such a jerk when I say uhh I’ll just order my own dish.

As Alex, I do not understand the sharing of food unless I’m having a meal at a tapas restaurant where that is the point of dining. Otherwise, keep your fork out of my plate. When a server recommends sharing, my boyfriend will chime in that I do not share…not to be offensive but to forewarn those we are dining with. He knows to wait patiently till I have finished my meal for him to pick over what I have left. That is the system that finally works for us, since I don’t do leftovers either.

I always share food in restaurants – with my husband, friends, doesn’t matter who I’m with. You get to try so much more and I just love the intimacy and family feel of sharing food with people I love. We even did a four course, family-style Italian meal for our wedding reception so everyone at each table shared dozens of dishes and it was so nice to see everyone we loved talking, laughing and sharing plates. Something about it just makes me happy.

I’ve always been a big proponent of sharing – sharing is caring, right? But my husband hates it, much like Alex! He knows what he likes and always seemed to pick the best foods. On our honeymoon, we had to set some boundaries since I was always quick to ask “ooh, can I try a bite?” Even though it was often off a buffett where I could get my own (or he could get more :). But 10 years later, I’ve developed a better or more loyal sense of what I like too and can pick out dishes I enjoy so much there’s little desire to try anyone else’s.

ja, ja!! this made me laugh because… absolutely no!!! I can totally relate the panick face when friends suggest sharing plates!!! But I have grown accustomed to just state very clearly that “I’ll have this dish on my own, guys”. I’ts preferable, to me, than being unconfortable and grumpy the whole meal because I can tooootaly be!! I take food seriously!! ja, ja!!

Ha, this sounds all-too-familiar! My husband and I had a similar conversation about chocolate chip cookies when we were dating. I’m always on a mission to find the next best cookie, and one time he teased me about this relentless search. He has one cookie he knows he likes, and he’s not interested in comparing it to anything else. He explained, “I like what I like, and I stick with it. I’m a loyal guy”–to which I replied, “well, I want to try them all to make sure I’ve found the best one.” Foot, meet mouth!

My husband (a former chef) and I always share when we go out to eat at a nice restaurant. We slowly enjoy a portion of our own dish, wait until the other has enjoyed part of their dish, and then swap. It’s amazing because one of the best parts of going out for a incredible meal is sharing the food experience even after all the dishes are cleared. So instead of saying “my agnolotti was amazing!” on the way home, you can say “wasn’t that agnolotti amazing?!” And the other person can enter into your moaning about how fantastic it was instead of being like “good for you, glad you enjoyed it.” It becomes more of a shared experience.

However! I wouldn’t share food with more than one other person. A big group? No way! I’m with Alex – too much stress over getting enough to eat for those of us who like to savor!

I’m not a big fan of sharing food because usually I don’t want the same things as others. I do, however, love sharing brunch. My SO and I love to go to this one spot order the crab cakes eggs benedict and the cinnamon bun french toast and then share half and half.