When Did You Know It Was Love?

Ok bawling while reading this. These were so sweet. And gave me hope

These stories are making me swoon!

After a few months of dating, I watched My Person spend about 20 minutes gingerly trying to capture a flying bug in his kitchen rather than kill it. The next day, I told him: “You know what I was thinking while watching you using Tupperware to catch that bug? ‘I love that man.'”

To which he said….”Thank you.” I still give him a hard time about that. Months later, over a bean dish, he said: “You know I’m in love with you, right?” And we’ve been easily talking about looooove ever since.

Ok, for this story, you have to know that my husband is very tall.
We met when he moved into my group house, and I liked him a lot at first, but mostly because he would pay rent while making me laugh and not annoying me. Then, we went to a movie with a bunch of friends, and I ended up sitting right behind him. And he was so tall, with these swoon worthy broad shoulders. That was the first moment when things shifted. We became such good friends first, and I loved the way he thought, the way he moved through the world with such calm, his deep sense of right and wrong. I kept thinking to myself, if he doesn’t love me back, every other man I ever meet will seem so short and meagre. The greatest thing that ever happened to me is that he did love me back. It’s been more than a quarter century since then, and he is all I’ve ever wanted.

I think it was our first date! We were looking for ideas and ran across an event listing for something called a Barbaric Yawp at a coffee shop about halfway between us and were both immediately like “I have absolutely no idea what this is, but I absolutely must find out.” I walked in and he just looked so excited and my gut immediately was like “yes, this is it, this is the one!” We subsequently got kicked out of said Barbaric Yawp (which turned out to be a poetry slam) because we were giggling too much in the back corner getting to know each other. So we went to a Caribou nearby and stayed until it closed. And THEN I knew for sure the morning after he slept over for the first time and I found out he loves Taco John’s as much as I do, which is so dumb but I distinctly remember thinking “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this man.”

We’d been together (long distance) for 3 months when Valentine’s day hit. I flew to be with him that weekend and told him if he did anything romantic for me, I’d throw up. He took it to heart and we did a family birthday brunch for his grandmother’s 85th bday followed by the surprise of the day which was the Valentine’s Day package at Medieval Times. As we sipped champagne from branded flutes and ate turkey legs and posed for pictures and laughed at the absurdity around us, I knew he was special. Hours, and far too many cocktails later, when at a dive bar with our mutual best friends (we met while in their wedding!) there was one bite of queso left and I said “you take it, I love you more than cheese”. It was then I knew- it was true. I love cheese but I loved him more.

I still had plans to return to my job in Indonesia, but while I was in my hometown, Jonathan and I kept finding many reasons to hang out together. We took a walk on Fourth of July, and I wanted a DTR, but couldn’t figure out how to start—how do you date someone when the rest your life is elsewhere? I started out, “we seem to be spending a lot of time together…” preparing to hold forth on how this could be complicated. Jonathan said simply, “I like spending time with you.” The safety and familiarity of his kindred spirit and his honesty in pursuing a good thing that will “either end in marriage or a breakup” are still anchors for me. —We’ve been together 8 years.

kim! i cried reading your parents’ love story! so beautiful.

Andrew and I had a very strange start to our relationship. Essentially, we dated for three weeks, and then I moved to South Korea for two years. About 18 months into this long-distance experiment, I had to come back to the States for my brother’s wedding, and of course I brought Andrew as my date. That meant the first time Andrew met any of my family was while attending a four-day wedding extravaganza with the entire clan. On top of that, we stayed in the hotel room right next door to my parents while my mom was in maximum mother-of-the-groom mode. It was bonkers; tons to do, tons to coordinate; tons of very heightened emotions. Andrew was amazingly patient, generous, helpful, kind and of full of grace through it all. While I was an emotional mess, trying to manage extreme jet lag, culture shock and challenging family dynamics, he was an absolute rock. My family adored him. At the end of the weekend, when we were sitting in the airport getting ready to board different planes, heading in opposite directions to entirely different parts of the world, I finally told him I loved him, because those words didn’t feel scary anymore. I am so grateful he stuck around all those months until I was ready to say it.

On the 27th of April 2018 I replied to a cup of jo newsletter which had asked “Do you have any weekend trips or outdoor adventures coming up?” because I had a REALLY good feeling about a second date that day (what a dork I am to reply to a newsletter!!). And then I went ahead and replied back to myself on June 3 to confirm, yes he IS the guy!! Now we are married and expecting our first baby in October. I still surprise myself thinking about how quickly I knew, and am so grateful too! He has the kindest heart and is my very best friend.

We met in our first year of university, and were paired together for a math project. Our prof gave an incentive to the class that whoever finishes first gets a twix chocolate bar (my favourite flavour!). My partner didn’t feel rushed to finish the project and we missed out on the twix bar. Months later (long after I had forgotten about the chocolate) when we started to realize we had feelings for one another, he surprised me with a twix bar. We have been together for 15 years. :)
PS: there have been so many more moments where I have realized how much I love him. Once was when I was hospitalized for an injury, and once more recently was when I fell into a deep depression and needed the immensely tight hug that he could offer (day, after day, after day).

i met my husband by total happenstance in first year university. we have now been together for 15 years (!) the first night we met, it was cold and I had forgotten my mittens. He walked beside me and held my hand, switching hands every few blocks to keep one hand warm, then the other.

later that night, we went to a seriously divey bar with fake ids and some other friends and he carved ‘max loves laura’ into the table. we had our first kiss over 25 cent shots and then kissed in a snowstorm waiting for a cab. and that, as they say, was that.

i remember absolutely everything about the moment i saw him – and we were never apart after that night.

A couple months into dating, midwinter, we were in my tiny room in the apartment I shared with roommates. He noticed my humidifier was empty as we were going to bed and he took it out to the kitchen sink to refill it. It was such a small and random thing, but while he was putting it back together I thought, I love him. Years later as we try to re-plan our postponed COVID wedding, I think that was my mind’s way of showing me that he was someone who would quietly and confidently take care of things and who I could really trust.

Can’t get over how these stories about the first rush of love feel like what movies and novels are based on (I screenshot so many), except even better.

That against all odds, young or old, you know when you know that this is precisely your perfectly imperfect person for perfectly imperfect you. Reality love morphs over the years and requires conviction and isn’t always romantic in the moment, but that intuitive gut feeling of choosing and being chosen not only is cosmically bigger than you, it exists. If you want it, you can find it.

Our first date was in late August and on a lovely crisp autumn morning about 6 weeks from our first date we went to breakfast, bought The NY Times, and went back to his place. We were both sitting in the backyard sun reading our own sections when my now husband looked over at me and said “this is the best morning I’ve ever had”. I realized I felt the same and now it’s 13 years later and those quiet mornings together are still precious.

My boyfriend was fixing to go to a military training where he’d be out of contact for at least three weeks. We had just made our relationship official and were planning a movie/baking day as our last date before he left when he found out he had COVID. So we had to pivot to a weekend of virtual dates and video chats and it ended up being a good chance to talk about our views on faith, dating, marriage, etc (though it was brutal to not see him in person)!
I was journaling about a Bible passage we’d discussed when I realized he had the qualities I’ve always wanted in a husband and I could see a future with him. The weeks he was gone were hard for a number of reasons- he was away with no clear return date, I was withdrawing from an antidepressant, I lost a family member- and I kicked myself the whole time for not telling him how strongly I felt. I thought then that I loved him, but once he was back from training and we spent even more time together I realized that I *really* loved him! Eventually it felt like I was having to physically hold myself back from saying I loved him. He first told me he loved me in a Food Lion parking lot we’d pulled into to wait out a hailstorm. It was sweet and perfect and truly one of the times I’ve felt just purely happy. Ahh, I’m getting sappy now, but I love this question and these answers!

I fall in love with my husband in different ways all the time. Most recently we were at the doctor for an early OB appointment (the first one he was allowed at!) and I had so much blood taken, I started to feel light headed. He bolted out into the hallway and found me juice and something about how he unpackaged the little juicebox straw and handed it to me and then got me another in case I needed it… it meant everything to me. He’s about to be the father of our child and after 11 years together, I can’t believe the different ways I’m finding I love him.

My partner and I fell in love hard and fast, inadvertently and undeniably, across an ocean and entirely in writing. We still live an ocean apart and the intensity of our connection continues to deepen in the most extraordinary ways.

Almost a month after dating my now husband we were spending a day at a beach. We were floating in the water on inner-tubes and as I was looking at him I thought so clearly in my mind “I love you”. I had never loved anyone before. A week later he told me he was in love with me, and I didn’t say it back. It was such a big feeling and I was too scared. He said the L word four more times before two months later I said it. I remember deciding on a Sunday evening while watching a movie that I would tell him that week, not having the chance to until the end of the week on Saturday, and the joy and relief that came after finally saying it. I’ll never forget the smile on his face that day.

These stories are amazing!

We met when I was 14 and started dating a year later during high school. But I broke up with him (2 times, gah!) and during the last breakup (I was 19) he told me he couldn’t be just friends and we didn’t see each other for 4 months. (I still slap myself for this moment) I was such a miserable teenager!

When I ran in to him on the street I knew.. I had to get him back. And then I knew at 19 that I would never let him go again. All this time without him made me really see him but also myself.

Only he just decided to go study abroad. So I waited. Eventually he would be away for 5 years. We traveled a lot to see each other an made it work. I’m 30 now. We’re married and have two kids. And everyday I look at him and I’m so grateful for the fact that we are together, even after all my horrible behavior. He was able to see through it all. He is perfect. I’m so excited for the future. I love him more everyday.

For him: he always knew and never dated anyone else.

My husband and I met when we were 12 in an extracurricular band class – I played first flute and he played first clarinet, which means that we sat directly across the band arc from each other. My husband says he knew there was something special about me from the first time he saw me sitting across from him that day! We started dating after college, and have been married 4 years next month and have an adorable 7 month old baby boy.

I had been friends with my now-husband for several years and he’d once asked me on a date, though I had said no. We lost touch for about a year.

I had gotten a traumatic brain injury and I barely remember anything from the week after. A mutual friend thought to call him to come watch me, since I couldn’t be by myself. While he was there, my pain meds wore off and I curled up on the floor, crying in pain. This is one of the few moments that I actually remember from the whole week. He knelt down on the floor to hold me, and it felt like the most right thing I’d ever experienced in my life.

We’ve been together for 6 years, married for 4. Still in the honeymoon stage. Don’t think that will ever end.

I can think of a couple.

I met my husband in college when we were both involved in student government. It was my job to run the elections, and he was running for president.

We really liked each other from the off, but we sort of felt like we couldn’t be 100% open about that, because he was a candidate and I was an official. We snuck to one movie (on campus, counterintuitively) the week before the election. We were waiting for some friends of his in the lobby. As he was telling me that he’d had a slight stutter as a child, I noticed he was wearing the nicest, crispest white shirt I ever saw anyone wear on a Friday night at the student free-admission theater. Somehow, those two things together showed me such a picture of the person before me. (That was Moment #1.)

A few days later, when I had to come out to a room full of candidates and announce that he had lost the election, I couldn’t look him in the eye. Later, he said he knew he’d lost because I wouldn’t look at him. Finally feeling like we could be public about our interest in each other, we left together after the fuss had died down. He asked if we could step back into the building so he could call his mom and tell her about the results. (That was Moment #2.)

We made it back to my dorm and lay on the floor talking for hours. He asked me, “How did you get here?” (by which he meant, can you sum up your life story for me.) I made him go first, which he did. And when he got to the end, he finished, “And then I met you,” trying SO HARD to keep his voice matter-of-fact and failing only the tiniest bit. My heart thrilled back, “Yes, I hear you, this is an Event for me too!” (So that was #3.)

And an unrelated white shirt sequel – he proposed to me a few years later at my graduation and the only reason his family knew anything about it beforehand was because he had had to travel home to them and me for the event, had brought one white shirt, got it dirty somehow, and proceeded to freak to his mom about how he didn’t have a clean white shirt to propose in.

Whenever I see an ambulance I have always reflexively said “I hope those people are okay.”

About five years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who often got mad at and criticized me when I said this – in his mind, because they were in an ambulance, they never were. I tried to rationalize with him – maybe they COULD be with some help from medical professionals, but he continued to be mean about it until we broke up. (Thank God I didn’t stay with him!)

When I met my now boyfriend, a few weeks after we met we saw an ambulance as he was driving me home and before I could say anything HE was the one to say “I hope those people are ok.”

I immediately knew I loved him then. We’ve been together about a year and a half and I am so, so happy now. Life is good.

My husband and I met online. We traded emails back and forth several times a day for about a month, so when it was time to talk on the phone, we already had developed a friendship. By the time we met face to face (about 3 months after our first email), I already knew I loved him. He felt the same way! Ten years and three kids later, we are still going strong! He understands me in a way few people do, and grounds me when my ideas get the best of me.