You Are Doing a Good Job.

Parenting IS hard. I read somewhere something about it being sending your heart out to walk around.
My oldest just graduated high school and is off to college in the Fall. I have to hope that what I’ve taught her sticks and she’ll get through the dumb mistakes she makes safely, the way I did!
And my youngest (9) got some extra hugs this week for some stuff he’s had going on, too!

Dear Joanna,
thank you for this post, this is just what I needed this week. Not only because of everything right now. Yesterday my 10-year-old son had an accident on his way home, he was hit by a delivery truck, thank goodness he got away with some scratches on his elbow, his bike is off much worse. I feel as if all this shook me more than him himself, maybe because as a mother, you think about what could have happened all the time, and my anxiety doesn’t help either. You are so right: Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart.
Shoutout to all you mommys and daddys out there.

Nagging is such a negative term! Kids really need boundaries and they need to have those boundaries reinforced frequently. If you’re sometimes delivering these boundaries in exasperated tones, maybe its because children are exasperating! Not because you’re not awesome. Agnes, I just want to give you a hug. I bet you’re already doing a really great job, even if you have multiple moments of human frailty every single day.

Just catching up on your posts, I love this. Thank you. You are doing a great job, too. I think it is important to recognize that all families have tough issues happening at different times. It’s not easy. Sending hugs, I love you too!
XO
Karrie

Thankyou, ❤️

I have two kids, 7 and 3. This morning was a mess–everyone running late, toddler meltdowns, etc. And then my 7 year old spilled a large glass of chocolate milk all over the couch right before we had to leave. It was the last straw and I just snapped. But then my 3 year old stopped, looked at me, and said: “It’s okay, mama. Accidents happen.” So true. Sometimes we do the wrong thing in the moment, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t doing the right thing most of the time. Big hugs to all the parents out there.

My son just turned 13 and I’m finding the teen transition so hard! I listened to this today and really recommend it- I learned so much about the teenage brain which was so helpful https://pod.link/1567190358/episode/8dfa44787f6e457466c6a3f23854c3e2

Such a simple post but so truthful. We all struggle every day with our kids and it is a good reminder to hear you are doing a good job even on your hard days. I always tell parents to focus on their strength and celebrate the good moments. Children will always remember the joy they felt with you and that is what matters.

Needed this! It is hard! I am trying!! And the snuggles I get from them sort of propel me forward. Sending big hugs to all those who parent!!

Thanks for this post! Good job to you!!! It is the hardest job! My 7 year old has been so up and down these days, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with all the changing emotions. I constantly question if I’m doing this motherhood thing right….it’s nice to read a post like this. Thanks!

Ah, yes, this is indeed a warm hug. So good to remember that we are not alone and parenting is The. Hardest. Job.

Joanna, thank you so much. I very much needed to read this. Your message brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with gratitude and peace. You are doing an amazing job as a mama!! Thank you for everything!

As a new mom of two, my baby is 8 months old, and my oldest is 5.5, it feels really special to have one on one time with either of them. I am so grateful I had them 5 yrs apart because I had so much time with my 5 yr old ( my daughter) and now that she is in school, I have special time with her brother (my 8 month old). Each one holds such a special place in my heart. Glad you had special time with your youngest! <3 Don't forget that these "hard times" he has will teach him compassion! He is growing, and although growth is hard sometimes, ultimately its so good and important! You're fighting the good fight of Motherhood.

Thank you for this, Joanna, and thank you to everyone who commented. I am in tears reading all these replies. Parenting is so hard. Solidarity.

thank you <3

Yes, parenting is so hard and exhausting. I have a 5 and 2 yr old and there has been so much fighting, teasing, whining, etc etc lately. Yesterday just after my 2 yr old got up from his nap, he somehow managed to unlock the back door and went streaking across the lawn in only his diaper. I went running after him and he looked back at me and erupted into this joyful laughter with such a look of glee on his face. I couldn’t help but laugh too. I’m usually so focussed on consistently correcting my kids behaviour but it made me think that we all enjoy breaking the rules sometimes and maybe it is not such a bad thing that my kids seem to always be pushing boundaries and my buttons.

Wow. I did not know I needed this today. But I read it and teared up.
Thank you Joanna and Cup of Jo for always being a beacon of light in this weird, hard parenting world!

My 5-year old son passed away unexpectedly last fall. He was my person. His passing was crushing. It’s still crushing. I haven’t gone a single day since without crying multiple times. Pools of tears. My youngest son is a toddler and still needing all the attention and so much direction. It’s been extremely hard to parent and to show love like I want to since “that day.” The only thing getting me through is my faith – my faith in Christ, that I’ll get to see my baby again. Most days I feel like I’m about to unravel though. These reminders that I’m doing the best that I can, that parenting is hard anyway…they help. So thank you for the help.

I am a first time poster so thank you for listening. On the topic of parenting is difficult, my son had his senior prom on Saturday. He had a date lined up, bought a suit to match her dress, bought her a $40 corsage, washed his car inside and out, got a haircut, etc. The day of prom she canceled just as he was getting in the shower. My heart broke for him. He was so excited and prepared! I was just about to give him the speech to treat her with respect, open the door for her etc. Who would do that? It is cruel and he doesn’t give me many details. He still went to prom and had a good time but every time I see the photo of him in his new gray suit I will think of the girl who canceled on him the day of. Brutal. He still brought the corsage to prom with the intent to give it to someone who didn’t have one. He left it sitting on a table instead. My heart hurts.

Joanna, I’ve been a reader (and sometimes commenter) of your blog since the start, it’s the one think I read daily or catch up when I’m behind. You and your team have a very special and beautiful way of making us all feel so seen, so connected, it’s truly a blessing in challenging times. This right here, I needed to hear this today. For the first time ever, at 38, I’ve found myself battling depression and anxiety, I just started medication a couple weeks ago, it’s been a rough transition and our little routine has been a mess. My 4.5 yr old is definitely feeling it and pushing so hard for boundaries but we’re just in this survival mode and it’s hard. Doing our best and it’s a beautiful reminder that despite these hard times, we are good parents, we are trying our best, and our kids will be just fine. Sending love your way. We’re all in this together, it takes a village!!

A friend of mine once told me that in psychology there is no such thing as a “good parent” rather “a good enough parent” reflecting the fact that we are all trying our best and our intentions matter the most and that how no one, I repeat no one is perfect.
We are doing a good job and we are good enough parents.
Hurray for that.

This brought a tear to my eyes. My daughter is having a really hard time with her transition from preschool to Kindergarten. It’s just breaking my heart! It seems so little, but is so BIG for her. I wasn’t prepared for all these seemingly little things that would shatter our kids…and, of course, in turn us as parents.

This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

I teach high school and am parenting a graduating senior, a high school student, and a middle school student. The number of times I have said, “Parenting; it’s not for the faint of heart” to my husband AND to parents around school…

I think we consistently underestimate the impact that these last 18 months have had on us and on our children. Keep soldiering on, moms and dads. If you’re trying, you’re winning.

I’m in the midst of big kid and baby such at the same time and having cup of jo to look forward to in between the chaos of the day has always been so nice. I wish you’d do a “weekend” post every day where it listed 100 things so I could look forward to links & articles.. They help keep me sane and inspired and remember who I am underneath all of the mom I have to be each moment!